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70000 Questions Answered - Welcome to Designer Relationships

· This article (309) is rated ♦♦♦♦ ''4 diamond'' by our members and readers
· This article was written by men and women
· This article was last updated May 2011

     After 70,000 answers we can get a good look at how men and women feel about the relationship type called FLR. It comes as no surprise that men and women see FLR differently. Since men are the driving force behind FLR and women are responding to their design we can also see some basic sustainability flaws. The reality is that relationships where members are not working towards relationship fulfillment will not last, so if it is your goal to have a short term relationship that is edgy following the model designed by men will meet your goals. Similarly women responding to men found common ground and choose a relationship that is for the most part unsustainable. It would be better to keep FLR as play then to attempt to design a relationship after the model men or women or any hybrid of men and women have chosen.

Comparing what men and woman want

     Women choose the path of least resistance in response to what men desire and did not contribute much to defining "what is female led relationship?" You can see it in the closeness of the pattern with a resistance to get in all the way. Men want that full gallop approach to consensual slavery that is marked by the male fantasy of FLR and women respond to that. If women want to experience true female led relationship they will set a model after what they want then invite men to participate by a series of proofs. Women would ask men to do "exactly what they wanted" to prove the mans interest in "real FLR." Aside from this women will actually be in an MLR and simply responding to what men want.

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Designing a relationship that is sustainable

     Given the desires of men and women for FLR we can see that level 3+ is the most likely candidate for a sustainable relationship. In the male model connection and intimacy are missing, even females did not spend time hoping for real connection. You can imagine there is very little connection between an obedient slave and its owner. The only real connection would be the serving of the master. To get a sustainable relationship women must insist on moving the top arrow towards male vulnerability and dependence while creating real connection and intimacy. Further women must insist on control of all 5 food groups to create a dependence on her that helps the man re-socializing. The biggest move women need to make is taking the reigns of what is FLR to them and then leading their relationship away from the male drive toward fantasy fulfillment. Even if she wants many of the things he fantasies about there should be a real proof of his desire for a sustainable relationship outside his kinks before FLR is attempted. Otherwise just play until you get your proof.

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»» Do you live near Melbourne Australia? ««
'My wife and I want to connect with other couples currently engaged in a Female-led relationship, who live in Melbourne, Australia. We wish to start a program of regular munches/meetups and establish a local support network' Please make contact if interested: Kate and Christian Mitchell
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Women were asked
I like the thought of managing our life?
26% 3% 71%
In Some Ways No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

97% of women like the idea of managing the couples lives. Add this to the 99% of women interested in having the final decision in the couples lives and it speaks volumes about how women feel.

Women were asked
I like the thought of changing him?
35% 11% 55%
In Some Ways No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

Women think highly of the idea of changing their men. 89% of those polled were positive about it. So another strong motive is a woman's desire to control their environment and their men.


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