70,000 questions answered - what the data says about FLR

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70,000 questions answered - what the data says about FLR

· This article (307) is rated ♦♦♦♦ ''4 diamond'' by our members and readers
· This article was written by men and women
· This article was last updated May 2011

70,000 questions answered and thousands of antidotes - the data is the data

     AboutFLR.com has been collecting data in several ways since December 2010. We collected survey data, self assessments, MAG and Reputation Point data, participation data, interviews and anecdotal data submitted by users of this website. This is without doubt the largest collection of evidence about female led relationships to draw some early conclusions from. Victor Ell took the initiative to graph the relationship between formal FLR, the 5 food groups, relationship dynamics and the kink that is pervasive in pop culture about FLR - his work allowed us all to see just how different play is from relationship and FLR is from 50/50 relationships. There are surprises, some big duhs and a shock or two, but first a brief history of about how aboutFLR.com got started with its current ideas.

30 years in the making - the quest to understand

     The original authors of aboutFLR.com have been on a lifelong quest to understand the drive men have toward FLR and the resistance women seem to have. The website was the second experimental forum giving voice to and gather evidence about "unequal relationships". Unequal relationship is a thesis by author M. Lyman Hill (who also wrote extensively about the 5 food groups) about how relationship dynamics actually worked. The men and women who penned the bulk of this website's original test launched another experiment 3 years earlier about the dynamic of mates wanting to submit, be subject or completely surrender (consensual slavery) to another. Like this one it became popular quickly being used by 8-10,000 people a month and like aboutFLR.com it had surveys and self-assessments.

     The history of the reasoning of the writers of this website came over the span of 20-30 years of talking it over and experimenting with FLR and MLR ideas. All of the authors have a love hate relationship with FLR, MLR and all relationship types because they seemed to have so many flaws. In the late 1990s M. Lyman Hill began to write about what he then called the pre-food groups. In 2005 he formalized his thesis of the 5 Food Groups and together with the other authors of this website voiced the ideas behind unequal relationships, how they greatly simplify life and make things better because those in power can make life better for all. When aboutFLR.com was designed the authors had several things they wanted to prove or disprove.

  1. The experimental relationship type called female led relationship exists beyond the realm of sexual fantasy
    • we found this to be partly true - at least 120,000 men and women have an interest in FLR
    • most men (96%) are focused on the fantasy
    • many FLR couples have identified themselves so FLR exists
    • at least 10,000 women are actively interested outside the sexual fantasy in FLR
    • men continue to introduce FLR and not give their full disclosure
    • FLR is at least as real as MLR and 50/50 relationships as a relationship type
  2. Women did not invent FLR, it was the invention of men who wanted women to step up
    • we found this to be true - men are the inventors of FLR and women respond to the male desire
    • we found this to be a natural reaction to normal socialization
    • we found women would have invented something different if they had been there first
  3. The male fantasy is the pervasive driver for FLR
    • we found this to be true - men are the drivers of FLR based on their sexual fantasy
    • this should at least be a little alarming to everyone - consider it a warning flag
  4. Women for a variety of reasons were not leading female led relationship or their own FLRs
    • we found this to be true - women look to men to define their role in FLR though women are not comfortable with this
    • we found women as relationship leaders to be quiet and unassertive
  5. Vast numbers of women and men want FLR in some form
    • we found this to be true - an estimated 18 million number are candidates but have no/little exposure
    • about 120,000 (92% men) are currently interested
    • about 10,000 (92% men) a month actively seek FLR
  6. Women will not adopt FLR as a lifestyle as long as it includes FemDom
    • we found this to be true - women do not approve of FemDom as a lifestyle in large numbers
    • less than 30% desire level 4 and beyond
    • 100% are more concerned with character and behavior than control
    • the vast majority of women do not see themselves as a dominate female
  7. Women will not adopt FLR as a lifestyle as long as it excludes connection and intimacy
    • we found this to be partly true - women are more interested in character and behavior than connection and intimacy
    • women engage more often when FLR included connection and intimacy
  8. Men and women must be reeducated about relationship dynamics before FLR will be successful
    • we found this to be mostly true - about 4% are willing to retrain, the rest remain a big question mark
  9. Men must move closer to what women want for FLR to be attractive to women
    • we found this to be true - women are less likely to be interested in FLR in its current male led form.
    • women are repulsed at the idea of FLR being male led
A few interesting agreements - from the survey data
Men and women both want some form of orgasm control. Although it is not universal and likely not associated with FLR, it remains a topic. We believe this is a response to unfulfilled sex lives or some form of behavior modification men and women want. The evidence points to women wanting more control over their lives and men wanting to have more energy to please their mates. This makes orgasm control and "locked" male chastity a target for any relationship model.
Men and women both want some form of obedience. Men say they want to obey and women say they want men to obey them. Even in level 1-3 women want obedience 70% of the time and many asked for "absolute obedience". We see this as a response from women who want less strife and simplified decision making not as a power grab or a want of control. It seems to be more of a security and harmony device.
Women are not as kinky as men - big duh #1

We know from self assessments and surveys 'conclusively' that women are about 30% less kinky than men and less than 30% would ever embrace FLR as it approaches the male fantasy of FemDom. Women flee the idea of any relationship with a man that nears FemDom because they don't want that as their self-image or don't want a slavish guys as their social image of men. Men about 90% of the time discussed something to do with their fantasy such as chastity, punishment, control or some element of sex; while women only discussed it 10% of the time and most often did not use any graphic imagery.

Women who want FLR are mostly married and experimenting - interesting #1

More than half of the women who are interested in FLR are married and say they are in a phase of experimentation. The experimentation come from a nervousness with leadership in the 5 food groups where they want male participation and help with decision making. Often women have an issue of confidence though women don`t seem to be forming any communities to support each other in their growth.

Women are not leading FLR in anyway - shock #1

Despite the name 'female led relationship', 'wife led relationship' or 'girlfriend led relationship'; it is in fact men who are leading FLR as we know it today. We believe men want FLR "for real" but they can't seem to let go and women don`t seem to be picking up the mantel.

Men are not retraining themselves - big duh #2

There are 11 times more men discussing FLR than women, of those, most are discussing the non relationship oriented elements of FLR. About 4% of men make an effort to move towards what women say they want in FLR. Less that 1% of men thinking about FLR participate in any retraining or re-socialization effort. Our MAG course estimate of men who have a good chance at success with FLR was 25% of men who are willing to retrain and rethink FLR after the fashion their women want. Ouch for men! Men have very little credibility. 4 in 100 men show any credibility.

Men assume women want control and offer to trade sex for it - interesting #2

Men have wrongly assumed that women want control so their negotiation with women has largely been unsuccessful. Women want character and behavior almost universally while less than half want sole control. Women do want final say and obedience form men, they also want acknowledgement of their leadership. These would be far better negotiation trades.

Men continue to turn women off to FLR - shock #2

As a group men continue to seek their definition for FLR which keeps women from participating. Women are relationship oriented and men tend to want those things that are anti-relationship such as consensual slavery and cuckolding. Men are actively promoting FemDom porn by participating in it making many women self conscience and angry. Even though men know they are repelling women they continue to approach FLR as a fantasy.

more to follow....

»» Do you live near Melbourne Australia? ««
'My wife and I want to connect with other couples currently engaged in a Female-led relationship, who live in Melbourne, Australia. We wish to start a program of regular munches/meetups and establish a local support network' Please make contact if interested: Kate and Christian Mitchell
The 5 Food Groups In depth
How to have a harmonious relationship. Negotiating in relationships explained. How the 5 food groups can help you define and explain a better cleaner faster relationship. One hour with this book will enlighten you! Ready now
Women were asked
I like the thought of managing our life?
26% 3% 71%
In Some Ways No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

97% of women like the idea of managing the couples lives. Add this to the 99% of women interested in having the final decision in the couples lives and it speaks volumes about how women feel.

Women were asked
I like the thought of changing him?
35% 11% 54%
In Some Ways No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

Women think highly of the idea of changing their men. 89% of those polled were positive about it. So another strong motive is a woman's desire to control their environment and their men.


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