A graphical representation of FLR

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A graphical representation of FLR

· This article (306) is rated ♦♦♦♦ ''4 diamond'' by our members and readers
· This article was written by a man
· This article was last updated May 2011
-- By Victor Bright Ell, author (50 Reputation Points awarded for this article)

Why is the article important to you FLR women and men

     I was important to me to show how FLR is different especially in the lower levels from traditional relationships and to show how the influence of FemDom clearly taints the relationship side of FLR. It is a funny thing to realize that before December 10 2010 no one had any hard data in female led relationships. What we all had was thoughts, ideas, fantasies and speculation. Now because of your participation and the help of aboutFLR.com which has done such an extensive job of surveying and interviewing; we all can enjoy learning about FLR from each other. I have been interested in FLR since 1981 when I first experimented with it in a relationship. I have been thinking about it as a model ever since. I hope these visual representations of relationship models will help you see FLR and enhance your enjoyment.

The FLR 3D model - (what the models means)

     The FLR 3D model is comprised of 4 axes. Each axis is scaled from 0 to 6; with 6 bring highest and 0 being lowest. The bottom axis is the level of interest a woman has in formal FLR. It describes the level of agreements, rules and formal procedures she wants in her relationship with her man. The right axis describes her desire for more interesting and varied sexual and intimate activities that couples enjoy. Note that it is represented in descending order to show the way in which it effects the number of women who want to get involved in FLR, the more kink the fewer women participating. The left axis describes a woman's desire to control the 5 food groups. The top axis describes how much emphasis the couple wants to put into "real" intimacy, higher level connection and male dependence on female provision and leadership. This expresses the level of surrender a couple wants for him and for her. It is expressed in backwards order to show the positive effect is has on relationships. Filling the upper right symbolized shallower relationships.

The Level 0 - (the range of normal and traditional relationships)


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Here is a baseline look at 80% of all relationships and how they fit this graphical model. Notice the tilt to the right and the point in the lower left. Those show the struggles couples have. The upper right shows a low grade or simple intimacy couples share and the lower right shows his control (or the lack of any control) even in 50/50 relationships. If you looked at couples experimenting with female domination in sex the graph would change a little but no real progress is made toward fulfillment in FLR. Fulfillment in FLR exists in the upper left and lower right corners. The more the graph points in that direction the more fulfillment both men and women will get form FLR. NOTE: the graph says nothing about couples that move closer to intimacy, couples in any kind of relationship can do that. They can enjoy more kinks at any time and she can control things without any FLR. It does suggest a struggle between couples for leadership, intimacy, connection and variety in sex. It shows why FLR men cant get satisfaction through play.

The Level 1 FLR - (the starting point)


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Finally you can see the difference between traditional relationships and FLR. Relationships tilting to the right are the least orderly, they are not well defined and rely on a great deal more communication to continue and flourish. The model describes the difficulty men have reaching any level of intimacy and the possible frustration women have about that. They likely have not taken many formal steps to create an environment where she was authority of any thing. She likely has some authority over one or more food groups and they have a little interest in FLR but few rules. The large white space in the lower right shows a lack of FLR. This relationship is common among couples and in the normal range of relationships. The second image shows how experimentation looks for couples in level 1 who want to test the waters for level 2. The graph still has the same right slant but it fills up more of the white space in the lower right and upper left (more formal FLR)

The Level 2 FLR - (where most couples actually are who say they are in level 3 or 4)


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Looking just like a level 1 experiment right? - I agree, level 2 continues to tilt to the right. These relationships will likely have less friction because more of the white space toward the lower right and upper left is taken up. Those spaces are where FLR actually happens. The second image shows how experimentation looks for couples in level 2 who want to test the waters for level 3. You can see the graph flip its orientation from right to left. This is like the so called role reversal model or at least a departure from tradition. Examine the lower right and upper left to see how much space is covered by pink as couples experiment from level 2 to 3.

The Level 3 FLR - (the sweet spot?)


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By the time couples reach level 3 they have completely tilted to the left in their FLR. The tilt covers the lower right and upper left which are the essence of FLR. By this level there is a great deal of satisfaction for couples because both partner's needs are being addressed in strong ways. The graph shows a complete departure form traditional relationships. We see from our data that in fact many couples are in a 2+ experiment or hybrid model that looks a bit like a level 3 but is not as neat because there is no formal agreement they both are abiding by. This model expresses the interest by some couples to share control of finances or some other food group and to engage in some but not all experimentation of kinks. This is the norm for FLR as a long term relationship type.

The Level 4 FLR - (The wild side or the best of it?)


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Keep an open mind for a minute and look at the graph. You'll see several things right off. 1) it is very orderly meaning there is zero strife and everyone knows their role. 2) you'll see the man and woman have the highest potential for gaining intimacy, connection and dependency for him. Now there is nothing to stop men and women from doing this in level 1-3 either but it does not seems to be so easily achieved as in level 4 when the women is a loving partner who wants a beautiful intimate relation with her man and he struggles at that. The simplicity shows the essence of "surrender" by both partners. Her to her leadership and the couples growth and him to his followership and the couples growth. These can be couples in perfect alignment. You can also see it takes a great deal of organization to support such geometric order. The second image shows how FemDom takes away the essence of FLR and dramatically skews the graph to remove the basis for relationships. This "slavery model" requires nothing form the women to help the couple experience fulfillment or intimacy, it is all about her and control.
»» Do you live near Melbourne Australia? ««
'My wife and I want to connect with other couples currently engaged in a Female-led relationship, who live in Melbourne, Australia. We wish to start a program of regular munches/meetups and establish a local support network' Please make contact if interested: Kate and Christian Mitchell
 
 
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*on-going poll requested of women

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I like the thought of changing him?
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In Some Ways No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

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20% 77% 3%
 
 
 
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*on-going poll requested of women

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I want to practice punishment in our FLR?
30% 6% 65%
 
 
 
If She Wants No Yes

*on-going poll requested of men

94% of men are asking or at least willing to accept punishment from their women

 

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