The Ideal Female-Led Relationship Part 4 - How it looks

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The Ideal Female-Led Relationship Part 4 - How it looks

· This article (228) is rated ♦♦♦♦ ''4 diamond'' by our members and readers
· This article was written by a man and a woman
· This article was last updated February 2011

Part 4 - How things work and how others see it (The Ideal Female Led Relationship)

-- By Victor Bright Ell and Gwen McKellen author and publisher

     There is a lot that happens in relationships that no one besides the couple gets to see, Zia and Andy's relationship is no exception. After 16 years of marriage Zia has taken formal control of the 5 food groups and the couple is enjoying a healthy, positive level 3 relationship.

How the couple handles decision making (The Ideal Female Led Relationship)

     Zia is free to make decisions but feels like it is a family event, though she holds the final word. Whenever decision are to be made where she feels Andy should participate, she talks it over with Andy. One example was Andy asking to go to graduate school. Andy broached the topic at night while Zia was in her den doing some research for work. Zia listened attentively then said "no love, right now we need you to attend our home, the kids and me and that plus your part time work is a full time job", "perhaps when the kids are grown if you still feel that way we can do it". Another example: Andy drove the mini van and it was getting old, he kept it up but soon it was in the shop more than on the road. Zia called Andy over to where she was sitting and said "we need a new car for you and the kids dear, why don`t you do some research and see what we should look at and narrow it down to 3 choices.", "we can choose form there."

How the couple handles decision conflict (The Ideal Female Led Relationship)

     Zia and Andy have very little conflict as a couple but it does happen and it happened more early in their relationship than it does today. Zia most often just talks it though with Andy and they reason their way together, because Zia now has the final word in all matters; conflict most often ends with Andy saying "yes love". There has been times when she felt the need to put a stop to things and a couple of time she was angry and wanted to remind Andy of his place. There was also a space of time when she just stopped caring about discipline and she did what was easiest for her.

     One notable example happened about 8 years into their marriage when they as a couple stopped having sex. Andy took the path of secret masturbation rather than seeking to become more pleasing and Zia took the path of seeking hot sex else where. Neither of them made a good choice for the relationship and both took the easy way by not addressing the conflict. The issue was complicated. Andy had let himself go a little in his grooming and weight so he was less attractive. Andy had almost no desire to please Zia because he was masturbating 5-7 times a week. Further instead of taking corrective action as the family leader Zia saught distraction with several other men in secret and lost much of her interest in solving the problem. After several years of this Zia had a reckoning and became forceful and demanding on Andy. She vented her anger with physical and verbial punishment. She reminded Andy of his responsibility to her and his promises, she also recognized in herself that she was not showing leadership. Andy wound up in Chastity with a lock and had welts for a while as Zia exerted force and control retraining Andy to get back to where they both wanted to be.

     Another example was: Zia is a focused person and needs to be free to concentrate on her work. Early in their relationship Andy would interrupt her for all kinds of small things, thinking he was doing the right thing. Zia made a plan to help Andy learn when and how to approach her when she was focused. She discussed it over dinner with him. He was to ask "Zia may I interrupt you?" then wait. She started playing with it as a rule and if he left without getting an answer (did not learn anything) she would call him back and have him kneel in the room. Besides turning Andy on it reinforced her authority. On one occasion she spanked Andy over her knee for continuing to nag and push even after she said wait. Zia only used physical punishment when she is angry or wanted to vent. Andy did not like it so it worked well for them both when Andy needed external motivation.

How the couple handles sex (The Ideal Female Led Relationship)

     Aside from a brief period where they struggled as a couple, sex has been pretty good and got even better when Andy stopped masturbating and focused his sexual energy on pleasing Zia. So things do not get stale Zia thinks of the things to experiment with and Andy willingly go along the adventure with her. They have tried just about everything except adding another man or woman to their bed. On normal none adventure days Andy either asks or is given cues from Zia to please her which he does with his tongue, fingers and or a vibrator depending on Zia's mood. Andy has release once a week and sometimes must wait two weeks when Zia wants him to step up in a greater way. They make love that night in traditional ways. From time to time when she is not in the mood and Andy deserves a climax, she watches him masturbate in front of her. Zia is a beautiful woman and Andy a handsome man so there is no reason to get stale especially when there is so much to try.

<< Read Part 3 | Read Part 5 >>

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'My wife and I want to connect with other couples currently engaged in a Female-led relationship, who live in Melbourne, Australia. We wish to start a program of regular munches/meetups and establish a local support network' Please make contact if interested: Kate and Christian Mitchell
The 5 Food Groups In depth
How to have a harmonious relationship. Negotiating in relationships explained. How the 5 food groups can help you define and explain a better cleaner faster relationship. One hour with this book will enlighten you! Ready now
Women were asked
I like the thought of punishing him?
28% 14% 58%
In Some Ways No Yes

*on-going poll requested of women

86% of women like the idea of punishment in their relationships. The trick is being comfortable with your choices and responsible to your core values in doing it.

Women were asked
The thought of commanding him?
20% 77% 3%
Interesting It`s Hot Yuck

*on-going poll requested of women

Women opverwhelmingly like the idea of commanding their men. 97% of those polled were positive about it.


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