Discussing Issues in Female Led Relationships
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I can think of three that might have potential but lost much of their meaning by being attached to femdom and female supremacy. Wrapped around her finger, venus on top and loving female authority all sound good on the surface but they take FLR in a direction that fails in the test of life. There are scads of books on female domination but that is not really positive for relationships, just play.
Uniquely Rika. The single best book on Female Led, real life, no-bull relationships. It changed my life and that of my wonderful partner.
Joel C you mean FemDom, that book is from one of the leaders of FemDom
Guest There is a wonderful posting today by the wife at subservient-husband.blogspot.com. It is her first ever on the blog. She discusses her view of the relationship. She mentions the Rika book as having helped her make sense of the FLR concept.
marius9093 I've read Uniquely Rika myself, and I believe it's one of the best books you can find. It's focus is male-to-female service, and the relationship dynamics it implies. It isn't entirely kink-free, but the focus is on service and submission, not kink. The type of relationship it professes is pretty close to a Level 4 relationship on this site. From what I can reckon it seems to be highly rated among women.
Joel C, marius9093, Nerd The book 'Uniquely Rika' is not about improving relationships or making relationships work. Not about loving your wife, not about female led relationship, not about anything we want. It is about FemDom fantasy relationships - in an effort to make them sound achievable. You guys are way off base here.
Ann1000Days I am stunned that someone claims that Uniquely Rika is NOT about FLRs. It is ALL about FLRs and it is by far the best non-fantasy book on the market. I've read it three times, and recommend it to every man I ever consider dating in the FLR world. If that guy doesn't "get it" from reading her book, "we" will never make it as a couple. Nuff said, from the perspective of a single woman seeking a FLR with a like minded male...and always seeks to find a good source of realistic info to share with potential partners(just skip the back half of the book related to more "male centric" activities)!
Ann1000Days seems to me that people interested in Rika are also off the latter side of level 4, so I don`t thing Ann is to far off. Rika is out of the main stream and most women wont and don`t behave like she is portrayed. Fiction is fiction.
There are two blogs that I would recommend for reading. One, worshippingyourwife.blogspot.com, has been turned into two books. The blogger tells many stories of the practices in his own FLR and especially of other FLR couples who have contacted him. The other is femdom101.blogspot.com. Although it has not been turned into a book, it is very insightful. The blogger, Kathy, learned that her husband had spent many thousands of dollars on a professional dominatrix. The blog tells the story of her discovery, of her contacting the dominatrix and working at her "studio" to learn her methods, of her taking her husband back into the household under a Level 4+ FLR, of the women she has encountered who have similar FLR's, and of issues that arose in her relationship with her husband. In a recent posting she describes her decision to establish the FLR and offers advice to other women: "...it occurred to me that John was one of these males that licked the underside of women's shoes. Well, some where about that time I decided that if John was ever going to lick the underside of a women's shoes again it was going to my shoes. ... While I don't like to give advice on how to do things there is one thing that I would tell any women. If your man tells you he is submissive, wants you to dominate him, or something along those lines; listen to him. It took a a great deal of courage for him to open up to you in this fashion. If you love him don't reject his needs out of hand. Rejecting a man for something he needs, that is a part of his nature, is the same thing as rejecting him."
Nerd That is off topic, I guess "good" is relative to your viewpoint. You know by now we don`t support level 4 and beyond, especially those things that are fetishes.
Another recent book is not focused on FemDom but does provide some insight into male and female fantasies. Its title is "A Billion Wicked Thoughts." It is based on a study in which the authors were given access to search terms used by people in looking for erotic material on the internet. A major conclusion is that male eroticism is focused on body parts while female eroticism is focused on stories of romantic relationships. There are a web page and blog associated with the book that provide more details.
Nerd The conversation about fetish is best kept on sites that support them or hide them from public view. The staff can find any good this book could do for your relationship. - sorry I missed this. The boss balled me out for it.
SusanM88 The book "A Billion Wicked Thoughts" is not about fetish. It is about eroticism. In fact it contributes to understanding why you suggest that men read romance novellas by Megan Hussey. That kind of book is at the core of female eroticism. On the other hand, male eroticism is focused on body parts, which goes a long way toward explaining womens' fashions.
Parks and Recreation - Ron's ex-wives, the two Tammy characters - positive or not? What's so hot, or not, about them? What do they tell us about strong women, or submissive men, in today's culture?
I am confused about this topic. I thought this site was about flr and you guys didn't like femdom because it is a fantasy. Sowhy are you asking about good femdom books.
Guest Thanks for helping us draw some lines. Nerd is not a current member but an active FemDom enthusiast. We appreciate him but his perspective does not represent those who founded this site. Your active reading and comments help everyone stay on point. I am sure everyone can see how difficult this topic is when we leave relationship and move towards fetish.
Guest Some men really like to push the limits of the conversation. We need to be supportive of them but not their ideas when they stray from the golden path. It was my job to monitor this and I blew it - sorry.
How about At Her Feet by Tammy Jo Eckhart and Fox? Though it may be more about FemDom than specifically FLR, it may be helpful to some. Just a suggestion.
I see that you now have links to FLR sites and have included the Worshipping Your Wife site. I suggest you also list femdom101 there, because the discussions on that site are very close in viewpoint to the ones originated or republished by Worshipping Your Wife. The blogger on femdom101 is a woman who discovered her husband's deep need for being led in all respects by a woman. They are a loving couple, and she recently blogged that after their first kiss "she knew he was a keeper." She talks extensively about how she discovered his need and what she did about it, turning from being a "soccer mom" to training and controlling her husband. She is very religious and sees what she is doing as a religious obligation after having been confronted with his needs and desiring to uphold her marriage vows. She also has a circle of other women she meets with who are in the same situation and a following of other couples with similar relationships.
my concern is that femdom and flr are inextricably linked. leadership is not necessarilh domination but the reality is that men are attracted to the domination. Submission onlh occurs after a crisis....and then a surrender to the will of the wife/woman. For most men, the thrill of this is the giving in.....the submission to the will of a strong woman. I do not believe this is bad....so long as they submit truly and not simply to get their sexual jollies. I would argue that a healthy flr has about a level 3-4 because the man submits completely...not JUST sexually. Most femdom books fail because they only address.the sex. Buy they are nkt evil....just incomplete. Thoughts?
SubmissiveMale If you mean linked by the way this websites categorize FLR in 4 levels, 4+ is no longer FLR but some more extreme thing such as BDSM or FemDom. If you are seeking that you cannot find it as it is a fetish. That is to say 4- is FLR and remains an exclusive set of ideas completely removed from FemDom. One may practice some of FemDom or BDSM in a relationship but both are fetishes for men grossly exaggerated by internet porn. One cannot practice the lifestyle of fetish, there must be a reality to have and hold a relationship and I can guarantee that the fetish is not the reality. Lastly there are many looking for an alternative to leather clad women walking their men on a leash; they want a relationship of equals who agree to a roles and rules based relationship; they may have kinks but their relationship is not kinky, there is love, respect, honor and a public element - the difference is she is the leader and the dominate exclusive of FemDom. That is my 50 cents.
sorry for stubby thumbs
Can I suggest "Leading and Supportive Love" - "The truth about dominant and submissive relationships" by Chris M Lyon. This book really puts things in perspective, both for Femdom and other dominant/submissive relationships. This book is not at all about kink. It's about the reasons some of us live this way and thrive in these relationships. I think it would be a good way to transition out of a vanilla relationship if it's not what works for you as a couple. The e-book is available on-line in many places, including iTunes.