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Discussing Issues in Female Led Relationships

The topic of "Is FemDom a healthy way to play?" is covered from the viewpoint of the Author of this website, what Experts say about "Is FemDom a healthy way to play?" and how our users feel about the subject. You can participate freely. We invite expert opinion via email. We value all kinds of information such as: research, anecdotal information and perspective.

Discussion Home > The male fantasy of FemDom > Is FemDom a healthy way to play?

The Opinions of The Authors of this Website

Many of thoughtful people have contributed to the authorship of this website. The authors of this website have thought long and hard about the topic of "Is FemDom a healthy way to play?". We hope you find our viewpoint helpful and thought provoking

Fantasy play builds brain cells - so it can be fun and useful but there gets a point where one gets grossed out. I know a women who is a pro domme and she can recall many sessions she engaged in that she either could not finish or could not start because they so offended her better senses. That said femdom play can be fun, both men and women enjoy it but there must be a point of agreement before it actual becomes a turn off. And it is not any kind of lifestyle at all. That is what I think - now how about you?
Author: Beth 2011-02-20 14:27:36    [reply]

What our users say

A wiseman once told me that EVERYONE has something worth listening too and when you listen enough you will get smarter. We value the ideas and opinions of our readers on the topic of "Is FemDom a healthy way to play?. "True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information." Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

Yes Beth, the breaking point is when the F [f]emale is uncomfortable with the current action. i [I] love Femdom as much as the next (submissive) guy, but sometimes while watching a video, i [I] say to myself, " i [I] wouldn't do that, and how does this bring H [h]er pleasure?" - edited by staff (female, she, her and wife and not capitalized except at the beginning of a sentence, i for men is not lower case)
Author: Dennis 2011-08-24 20:45:17    [reply]
Dennis Please desist in using FemDom camel case such as i for I and Her for her. I will guess that you are a fan and promoter of both FemDom and female superiority? Neither one are supported on this website. We are careful about FemDom jargon on this site for many reasons which include. 1. it promotes an internet business that harms relationships. 2. there is no proof that femdom or female superiority is true, real or have any validity at all and 3. real people cannot live a lie in any positive way (unless of course you want to run for office). Get real or get out!
Reply by: Admin 2011-08-25 15:15:37    [reply]
Admin Please delete my account. I'm not sure how to do that.
Reply by: Dennis 2011-08-25 20:58:27    
Dennis It seems you are more interested in the forms of submission by your camel case than you are in real submission. so when challenged by anyone to change you go your own way. This is the case with a great many men making claim to being "submissive", they only want what they want and are not really willing to do what is needed to serve a woman or anyone for that matter. Time for a little social pressure to get Dennis the servant back in the role of serving and Dennis the femdom monger changed for ever. A little public whipping to see if Dennis has a humble man in him or is he all i and Her.
Reply by: Ann 2011-08-26 06:40:14    
Admin I'm sorry if I ruffled any feathers, it's my bad for not reading this website's ruled fully...slight oversight. I'm just used to typing that way so give me a break. Thanks for keeping my account open...I only asked for a deletion because I figured after a huge mistake, I would not be welcomed here. Good day everyone.
Reply by: Dennis 2011-09-23 20:33:14    
It isn't healthy for me, and isn't the relationship I want with my wife. I don't think it maps to reality for a relationship as much as it does for one off fantasy encounters. I know there are those who pursue it as a lifestyle, but I am pretty sure that won't work for me. Ultimately I hope to use the framework from this site to help walk through the pieces my relationship with my wife and come up with an agreement that works for us. Very useful even if we stick with FLR 1
Author: Chris68 2011-08-24 23:10:34    [reply]
FemDom can indeed be an extremely healthy if the man is not willing to overtake and prefers to obey. Then you need the woman who likes to overtake the rule. I know a few couples where it works since many years almost perfect. The woman makes the rules and gives the orders and the man is happy as he only has to do what he is told. For me this would be nothing at all because I have my own opinion. But there are more than enough men who serve at home as humble like an inferior servant. All those males probably would fail without the strict rule of their wives and probably they know and so they better accept the rule of their wives. I know quite few ladies who have such a relationship and I have to admit that most of them are usually quite pretty, intelligent and charming and after their opinion it is sometimes with their husbands as if they had an additional child. I think in many relationships it is similar that one partner is a little bit stronger as the the other one. But femdom I think means a quite powerful relationship and usually a strict rule by a woman. If a man likes to have it why not. And if he is glad with his situation I don't mind.
Author: Frederik 2011-12-04 09:01:13    [reply]
Frederik FemDom is a fantasy created by those who profit form it and perpetuated as a system of control. I encourage you to this about what you said here. Think about your language. The message I get form this is you want a fantasy relationship. Is that what you want to communicate with everyone?
Reply by: Ann1000Days 2011-12-04 20:23:04    [reply]
Ann1000Days Dear Ann1000Days, thank you for your reply. Indeed I am not looking for a fantasy relationship, although I am quite open to any kind of a sophisticated relationship. In fact I have enough relationships for very real. I only wanted to give my two cents to this topic.:) If my contribution could misunderstood, I am sorry.
Reply by: Frederik 2011-12-05 00:17:00    
I personally enjoy that kind play. Seeing as I enjoy it, and it is my choice when and how to play, I think it is healthy because it brings me pleasure and enjoyment on my terms. We both know that it is just a kink, and while a good sex life is important to relationship, it is not the be all end all of it. So we act accordingly and keep the play confined to play time in the bedroom and do not carry it over to the rest of our relationship. So I see no harm in doing something which amuses me.
Author: Sarahsmiles 2012-03-19 03:02:40    [reply]
Sarahsmiles Thank you for articulating a balanced, healthy approach to this style of relating. Your words capture the essence of my sex life as a husband in the FLR life! Eddie
Reply by: EddieT 2013-05-27 14:45:35    [reply]
I had watched this site skirt around with this topic as if it had cancer, but really, female domination and female led relationships are just different ways of same the same thing.....aren't we arguing semantics for no reason. How can you lock my penis and prevent me from having an orgasm and then say, "this is not fem dom"? Give me a break....it IS Domination by the Female. Can we just discuss this? It is like saying the F word...we all know what we are discussing!
Author: Cbotrader 2012-10-08 16:39:02    [reply]
Cbotrader Well Cbotrader you are wrapped up in fetish, pickled with it and lost in the idea that slavery is somehow serving which is not very popular among women. Domination and leadership are two different things, FemDom is a fetish propagated professionals and porn purveyors, relationships may indeed have some kind of domination as in "dominate traits" but it is in no way related to or required for FLR. When you go after FemDom, you jump off the deep end into level 4 and beyond and this site is not about that. Think relationships, not slavery.
Reply by: Ann1000Days 2012-10-08 21:43:20    [reply]
For Halloween last year I met a woman dressed as a dominatrix, that seems healthy enough, it made me wonder about her sex life. I admit to fantasizing about it a little. I think men are over dosed with "dominatrixes" though, expecting a woman to do that all the time puts me off a bit, to each her own. I think it is a matter of setting healthy priorities and boundaries.
Author: Selma 2012-10-12 17:02:50    [reply]
a Femdom is a product of the male mind that seeks a superior goddess. It is a deep wish experienced by many men around the globe. I cannot follow the argument that femdom is a product of capitalism. It rather tries to satisfy the market that exists: The paying clientele (men) want Femdom. Femdom is what a man will invariably bring into FLR relationship. As he wills to be humiliated she will probably find a venue for amusement in it. What is special about FLR however is, that her input is the turning point. Femdom is about satisfying him. FLR is about satisfying her. She will soon show him, that she is NOT his fantasy, but she is what she is: a free spirited woman. He comes with a rubber duck in mind and will emerge with a fully fledged relationship on a deep level. A man can not be expected to see what FLR really is, until she has fully trained in. In that way I think that FLR is deeply ingrained with Femdom.
Author: Buntekuh 2013-01-25 16:22:59    [reply]
Buntekuh If it were not for the money the web sites would be out dated, blue background, static HTML web sites what no ones keeps up since 2004. It IS about the money. No one gives a hoot about goddesses, have you seen the goddess web sites? FemDom is a fantasy created by lust that capitalists take advantage of. Men will only live with FemDom as long as it makes them lust. Satisfy their lust, FemDom is gone.
Reply by: MadPam 2013-01-27 15:50:19    [reply]
MadPam true enough
Reply by: Buntekuh 2013-02-07 16:20:50    
I guess the real question is what is considered "femdom". My opinion is that it absolutely does NOT have to involve whips, chains, & leather boots. No dungeons needed. Lets face it once you've entered Level 4 of a FLR (esp. if she has you in chastity) that is FAR more DOM than any crap on the internet. This is YOUR life. Reality always trumps fantasy. The beautiful thing is in the right relationship a woman & man can make their wildest fantasies come true. The closeness that a man & woman feel when she is his key-holder is much more complicated than mere porn, indeed a relationship like that requires trust, respect, and love on a higher level. I guess I'm trying to say that there are many ways a relationship can be considered "femdom" and the majority don't even conform to some Hollywood standard. They are far more subtle. Everyday life in a FLR can be SO much more satisfying than any fantasy conjured up on the internet. Men need to wake up and let their wives run the show. Truly it is the best way to go.
Author: Rowdyboy3000 2013-06-26 20:06:23    [reply]
My husband is very good-looking, intelligent, and holds down a responsible position in the corporate world. But ever since I met him, I sensed a deep desire in him to have me take the lead in our at home relationships. He is in no way feminine in his inter-relationships with other people, but I sense that at some level he would almost rather be a woman. He is a good provider, wonderful father of our two girls, and always loving and gracious. Being who I am, strong, highly motivated, and more that willing to take the lead in our personal and business affairs, I gladly assume that responsibility. My husband is definitely not gay, but I can't help but sense there is a "girl within" desiring to live out that role by having me be the dominant figure in our relationship. Am I off in my thinking or do other wives experience the same thoughts and feelings?
Author: JoAnne R. 2013-11-16 09:33:47    [reply]

 

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