Discussing Issues in Female Led Relationships
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you might now want to, the best reason might be to help your mate get to a place where he can control himself
The answer to this is obvious - because you can make changes by doing it. You can hep him and you, love him and you, he is willing and you are able
I red in an article on this site "The MALE servant mate. The servant mate will be dedicated to the support and pleasure of his woman. He has set his heart to server her in such a way as to be a benefit to them both. He will be involved in the decision making to whatever level is helpful to them as a couple. His life will revolve around his woman and their family, he will have some independence." - it seems to me that any man on this mission does not need control, he has set himself on self control to do a good deed. He needs a good woman to follow - right?
HE DOESN'T NEED A WOMAN TO FOLLOW. HE NEEDS A WOMAN TO KEEP HIM ON HIS TRACK SO HE DOESN'T DEVIATE.
I AM NEW TO THIS AND A GUY TOLD ME TO READ ON THE TOPIC OF FLR. AND I LIKE THE IDEA OF TAKING THE REIGNS. BUT PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT TO ME SHOULD NOT BE A WAY OF DISCIPLINE. COUNSELING AND DOING SERVICE IN RETRIBUTION FOR HIS MISDEEDS SOUNDS BETTER. I AM ALL FOR PROGRESSIVE DISCIPLINE.
Control is given within the agreement. All comments about control as if the woman gets what she wants and keeps him in line are misguided in my opinion. Control is the authority mutually agreed upon by the two. It is not to be abused or confused with love.
For me, control is voluntary. I would give control of myself, to my wife butnonlynwhen she wants it. And only where safe, reasonable, practical and healthy. Obedience in chores is not much. An act of love is what that is. As for sexual control....that is deeper but still it is voluntary. If it starts getting into thoughts and speech etc....OK so now we get a bit unrealistic. After all, this is love right? Not a masturbastion fantasy? We need to remember that she is a person. Not a leather icon.
This is a good topic. I'm attempting to overcome some of my bad habits and I can't do it alone. I need her help (guidance, will) to be able to do this.
Guest I think that is a benefit of partnerships. One partner can help another change. If a woman can teach, force, assist, reinforce behavioral changes for her partner, he can become a better person - pick your targets because it might be a lot of work. Pain is a good teacher but behavioral modification does not require it. In discussing pain as a teaching tool I found people are mixed on the measure of success from it. I think all will agree that touching fire causes us to not want to touch it again so if pain is not severe it is not really helping him learn. Pain with reinforcing words and visual cues works best (think of boot camp). In the same way a man can help, reinforce, teach, assure his partner and she will be a better person and leader. People who get verbal, tactual and visual cues receive and process the messages better. You will need energy to support your partners change.