At this point in history most people into FLR are experimenting. What if there was an "ideal" to take the experimentation into a certain direction where we could all learn from the cultural shift from the current trend in relationships to see a really useful version of female led relationship? How would it look from the standpoint of those in it, from the community standpoint, from a peep hole in the bedroom or from the perspective of looking back at it after experimenting over many months?
People are fascinated with interpersonal relationships and sex. We all seem to like to know what others are doing and how it works for them. I have lots of reference materials, interviews, actual experience and people to ask to make a convincing model. We'd all love to take a time captual into the future and see how things went. I propose to do just that in a 5 part series of articles called "The Ideal Female Led Relationship".
I am going to write about the lives of Andy and Zia. Two people who look like others I know into FLR. I am going to use the statistics and poll results from aboutFLR.com to model the perfect relationship. She is in management at a PharmTech company and he is a project manager for a regional bank. They have 2 kids together 13 and 11. They have been married for 16 years, are active in the community, and attend church from time to time. They make good money and live in a mid sized city around a large population center like Chicago, New York or LA.
Andy and Zia met through mutual friends in the summer of Zia's last year in college. Both of them stayed pretty close to home never straying very far from Orange County. Zia was studying business and Andy had just finished. He had taken his first real career job as a business analyst. Zia had always been independent and boys in high school while they liked how she looked did not really get her personality so she never had a chance to let go. When it came to Andy, Zia felt like she could be herself. Andy asked questions, advice, even permission for things.
Andy was the quiet type, he played sports but never really excelled. Andy came from a good family who sent him off to a high end school, but he was back now and did not want to leave. When he met Zia for the first time he thought he'd dropped into the soup this time for real. She had a way that really turned him on at so many levels.
They talked about decision making early on in their relationship and she was the driving force while he was happy to follow. It was a little awkward around Andy's family who expected him to rule but they came along over time to love and respect Zia. Zia had some kinky ideas about sex and Andy loved that. Her enjoyment of experimentation was one of her most endearing qualities for him.
They married and lived together in an apartment then a house while Zia moved up in her management role. The longer their relationship lasted the more it was obvious she rules and he followed. Andy got quite a few complements from other women because of how he served her. They'd say "I wish my Fred was more like Andy", or "I wish my Fred could learn what Andy knows" and Zia spent no less time praising Andy to her friends "he is the greatest husband, I don`t have to do any housework". It was true, Andy did all the housework, most of the errands and some of the cooking so as the kids came along Andy was a big help and support to the whole family.
After their second child was one year old Zia returned to work part-time because the company needed her back so much, she had been consulting from home to keep her contacts fresh and contribute to the company. The couple hired a nanny but both Zia and Andy worked less to spend time the their kids. Andy went to 20 hours. As the kids grew Zia gradually went back to full-time and Andy gradually became a house dad taking on contract work as a project manager. Andy started journeying on-line as therapy and a way to stay connected to the work crowd he missed. Andy began writing stories and finally a book called "Why I Stayed At Home".
Zia's career afforded the family a nice home and lots of toys. The longer the marriage, the older they got the more Zia was interested in kink in their sex life and the more aroused Andy got from it, she needed the distraction from the pressure at where where she was now an EVP and help a stake in the company. The couple had a routine of shipping the kids off with nanny for several hours so they could become intimate in some privacy and the remainder of the time they only used their bedroom (that is to say when the kids were not interrupting). Andy became interested in male chastity in his late 30's and the couple experimented with it until they saw the benefits. The chastity made it like it was when they were first dating because Andy stopped masturbating and his only release was when they were together so he wanted more togetherness. Zia saw chastity as a refreshment of their love life. After 16 years of marriage they made a formal level 3 FLR. They invited some close friends to a ceremony and dinner to kick off the renewed vows. Andy publicly vowed to obey Zia. Zia got aroused when he said it.
Zia began to like the idea of power in their personal relationship and found it arousing, more so then the power she held at work where there was pressure to perform, at home there was no pressure on her and he wanted to perform for her. Zia learned to take full advantage of Andy's desires and she even had him dance for her; Andy gladly took classes and became masterful at it. Zia become more daring and tried many new things she had heard and read about/ She became a voracious reader to see what others were doing in their sex life. It was that year Andy finally went back to graduate school part-time online. Life was good, decisions were easy, they were in love.
Read Part 2 >>
The 5 Food Groups In depth
|Women were asked|
|I like the thought of punishing him?|
|In Some Ways||No||Yes|
86% of women like the idea of punishment in their relationships. The trick is being comfortable with your choices and responsible to your core values in doing it.
|Women were asked|
|The thought of commanding him?|
Women opverwhelmingly like the idea of commanding their men. 97% of those polled were positive about it.