Dan and I started a six week experiment with chastity in small steps. At first I thought it was strange and it put me off some, then it got worse than that with a strange repulsion at the images (they are just not nice), but in time, as I thought it through, I saw an opportunity to make our lives better. The small steps began when Dan staged a scene for me to see the thing online and we began discussing chastity and denial. Dan has always been edgy and seems to want more and more so I was not at all surprised to see the way he exposed it to me. I know from experience we don't have very open communication, especially about things like this and he almost always introduced things he was nervous about in strange ways.
There on the his computer screen was a photo of a man's penis in what looked like a plastic container shaped like a penis with a lock on it. I thought it might be some kind of crude art for a moment. I asked Dan "what are you getting at?" when he asked me "what I thought of it?" I could not think of anything less attractive than a photo of a man's penis in plastic. Since this was his way of introducing things he could not talk about openly I got it and I began asking him questions about what he was after? Without any inhibition I drilled down to what fantasy he had. All the things he said to me, his reasons, I discounted from past experience because the truth with was, "it turned him on."
He bought the thing and showed it to me when it arrived, so we played with it. "Not sexy" I thought, "off the deep end," but what the hell, let's try it, he will push until we do anyway. The obvious problem was that it limited sex and it seemed counter productive to his sex drive. It was hard to get off and on, but watching the lock click was what got me thinking. We tried one day experiments, several days experiments over a weekend, then I did a bit more reading about the subject. Most of what I saw and read was a GREAT BIG TURN OFF - yuck!!!!. There was two things that I did like: 1. hearing the lock click and 2. the interaction we needed because he was dependent on me to take the thing off, I had the key.
Zoom forward to our week long experiment. We stared on a Friday and by Sunday as usual he was whining, but I would not let him out. We had developed a rule where he could not to touch himself at all without the thing locked on and I was determined to put him to the test. Every night and on some mornings I would cuff his hands behind his back then remove the device and wash him with a warm wash cloth. On occasion I admit to teasing him which gave me some pleasure. It was that interaction I liked the best, it was nicer in some ways than sex because he needed me and was vulnerable; and I love the click of the lock. That week went very fast for me and could not have been over fast enough for him but he did it, kept his word, which I was proud of. The only issue was how to have a variety of sex because he was locked up.
We experimented with some different cages, some hurt him, one even cut into his skin a little while he slept. He bought another one like the first one that worked best so we had two and some different cuffs that went to a collar around his neck which made him look more like a slave which was the fantasy anyway. The BIG disappointment for me was that sex was soooo limited so I got creative, trying some accessories and reading about how to get what he wanted and what I wanted at the same time.
I read how to keep him from climax during intercourse and decided to try it, and it worked but it is less than spontaneous so there were still limits. The advice I took to practice was to limit foreplay for him, use several thick condoms; and put numbing cream on the understand of his thing (I think I read that on this site). It worked somewhat and I enjoyed the variety. I kept his hands cuffed to his neck so he could use them on me but could not touch himself. I got a kick out of that part, the cool chains on my skin and him struggling to please me with no hope for himself.
Partly because of his keeping his word for a week and because of my new found ways of enjoyment, even with him in the thing, I asked him for a longer experiment, 6 weeks I thought. We framed it in our conversation as a step closer to FLR, having to do with my trust for him and his ability to deliver on a consistent basis; I figured if he could not make it 6 weeks what chance does he have at a lifestyle. I wanted to break away from his fantasy and fetish to the reality of life as a couple because most of the time he was just thinking of himself even while he invented reasons I might be interested.
Okay, the six weeks started with that lovely click and it forced us to interact in that nice way that only couples can do every day. We had gotten good at it too. He had two devices so he could wear one and clean the other. I spent more time teasing him too and let him out for release every other week. I got to wear my lingerie more often which I enjoyed as a tease. We even added a little prostate massage (with mixed results and I can't say I liked it much). We made it through 6 weeks in this way with a little more variety of sex.
I think his goal was the fantasy of feeling like a slave and mine was more intimacy and less of him wanting sex instead of closeness.
The effect of the 6 weeks was he was more affectionate, attentive, and wanted to talk more, and I think because he was not on a mission to come and go, we spent much more time on me, I liked that. We had more sex than usual. I felt a measure of control but also more responsible for him (mixed feelings about that). He got to play out his fantasy of a slave which I catered to some but not much.
The downside was he climaxed very fast (maybe that is not a downside the way we were doing it) and was needy which was not like him. It was a chore sometimes to get the thing on and off especially when I was late or tired . It changed sex but I got more overall and the closeness we shared was better. It was more work for me for sure.
He kept his word for the most part aside from being needy and whining, it went well. It did improve my sex life but not ours. I still don`t like the look of Dan in plastic, it is just not sexy. I do like the lock and the whole idea of locking it up. The thought of him beating off is just not sexy either so this was a better option. I am not sure I'd do it as a lifestyle because it is more work for me, but the tradeoff's are more sex and a more attentive and affectionate guy.
Because Dan is Dan we will likely experiment more.
The 5 Food Groups In depth
|Women were asked|
|I like the thought of punishing him?|
|In Some Ways||No||Yes|
86% of women like the idea of punishment in their relationships. The trick is being comfortable with your choices and responsible to your core values in doing it.
|Women were asked|
|The thought of commanding him?|
Women opverwhelmingly like the idea of commanding their men. 97% of those polled were positive about it.