How to introduce your husband (lover, boyfriend, mate) to FLR - female led relationships -

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Testing the waters

     If you have answered your questions about female led relationships and decided to move forward and you want to approach your husband, lover or boyfriend then we can help a bit. A resource preparation. If you have not prepared then you need to start from the beginning.

If you need to educate your self - start off right

     The FLR subject is deep and rich, especially for women. Any relationship or lifestyle should not be entered into lightly. Education instills confidence which is what he will be looking for from you. This is the essential information to help you grow.

Answer the question - where is he at now in his interest of female led relationship

     There are basically 4 stages to any experience. 1) Awareness is the essential primer but not any kind of commitment. 2) Participation is the next step - is he willing to play at it? try it? experiment? - does he get enjoyment from it? 3) Conversion to loyalty - converts have adopted the ideas and made it their own. Converts know a great deal about the practices of any lifestyle. Lastly 4) Evangelists tell others, promote and mentor others. So where is he at in his development?

Answer the question - what kind of man is this?

     Men come in flavors. There are control freaks, champions, white knights, analysts, potatoes and slaves. Many men would never be willing to commit to a female led relationship because it go against who they are inside. After people are bakes, (fully formed) it is less likely they will make such a change. Young men tend to be poor candidates because they are still idealists. The typical candidate will be over 30 and more likely over 40; experienced some jolts in life; have an interest in BSDM, FemDom or domination in play; consider women their equals or betters and relatively easy going. Your guy may be right and you should know you live with him.

If he is just now gaining awareness

     If your man is at the beginning he needs to catch up to you. I recommend play and conversation. Men are disarmed at intimate play and you get to test his reactions to various situations. Ask him for pampering as a gift, explain what you want in detail, and see how he does with it. Get him to read up on the subject. Then take him to stage 2. [Read over Guided Motivation]

"Pampering can actually be quite fun. With a little variation and planning you can enjoy rich personal pleasures from the man you love while playing into his fantasy. The trick to playing to him is remembering the 5 things he wants in his fantasy. If you emulate or actually do them, he will be more fulfilled and potentially more eager.

If your man participates in female led relationship

     Okay he is now aware and you have shared some of the benefits and perks with him. You think he is growing towards the idea and is al least a little excited. Active participants are like customers, we need to keep them loyal. Loyalty is a concept based on their desire, based on the needs they perceive are being filled and based on past experience. No experience no loyalty, no desire no loyalty - you get the idea, it is about motivation. If your man is a good candidate then your leading will motivate him. If you are confused by his motivations ask him. I assume you can discuss personal topics. Ask his level of interest.

"Once you learn his styles, types and triggers, try and understand how he has stacked his needs. Answer what is his most important current need (for me it is companionship and connection, without that I spend all my time seeking it out). As a female leader, negotiate as many of the food groups as you can because ultimately you will be in a better position to help him and yourself.

When your man is a convert it is time to ask.

     He is all ready now for trials - read about them and enjoy!



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