We combined both our training guides into one and added the 5 food groups to make a really good resource for women to use to train men as supportive mates. Men need the help to get over their current socialization. Women need the help to understand men and themselves to create a sustainable FLR. The guides are appropriate for any level FLR despite the titles, you just ratchet down the activities to your level of comfort and your goals.
The basis for guide one is using "score cards" and "goal setting." By using this guide women train themselves and bring their men along. The guide addresses issues of leadership, rewards, punishment, stopping masturbation, and growing good habits. The second guide embraces the use of male chastity to get him in control and help him learn self-control while he learns to become a more selfless supportive mate. Male chastity is a powerful tool which presents some opportunities you can't get any other way.
The 5 food groups help anyone discover their "must haves" and sort out the direction for their lives. We encourage men, women and couples to read the combined guides and report progress and problems in the appropriate forums so others can learn form you. Let's take a community approach toward sustainable woman led relationships. [get the guide]
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Pew Research conducted a survey of about 1,700 homes to see how decision making dynamics work. The poll found that in 43% of home women exerted more decision making power than men and that men don't seem to object to that. The dynamic is the tip of the iceberg of a social shift to modern women ruling their home lives. This poll did not take into account most of the relationship dynamics such as sex, grooming, and the laws of attraction etc.. It concentrated on common decisions couples routinely make. The poll also did not take into account if the couple has agreed upon a decision making model or if women just assumed it authority. While there are a number of unanswered questions; the take way is that women are feeling their oats more and making moves to lead in some areas of interpersonal relationships, a sign of confidence. [read the poll]
She Makes the Rules website is completely owned and run by real women. It was designed for women who are interested in learning how to embrace their inner bossiness! ...Some of us are good leaders and caretakers of our families, and we do MAKE THE RULES in our households. ...What Female Led stands for is that we're bossy chicks (at least some of the time) and acknowledge it. ...She Makes the Rules is a discussion site. We ponder why we're made the way we are, society's rules we grew up with (being the good girl), with other strong women and the men who appreciate us. As most of us are in relationships, we also discuss how being a bossy woman impacts our relationships, not only between men and women, but with the rest of our family and even in our work environments.
There is a growing number of women enjoying the alpha life and men seem to be adapting to a beta role. In the book "Winning At Love" by author 'Pat Webster,' he writes: "Until the last decade or two, if you possessed alpha female characteristics you might have tried to hide them. Those characteristics include competitiveness, aggressiveness when necessary, self-directedness, persistence, tenacity, determination and a strong sense of mission. A woman with these characteristics can also have charisma, which she can use to charm others into getting her way and accomplishing her goals.."
"In the past, growing girls and women were taught to submerge these characteristics. Sometimes they were shamed or punished or even physically harmed when they used them. Today, those characteristics are applauded and rewarded, especially in the world of business and profession. Today you can be proud of them." [read the article]
It is common knowledge that stress and conflict in relationships most often come around the areas we call the 5 Food Groups. Couples who understand the food groups are learning to enjoy a relationship free to conflict. Discussing the food groups streamlines a relationships and helps couples discover harmony again. Women have a very high interest in level 1 FLR in controlling the Sex food group alone. While 2-4 take on control and management of more. Couples are doomed to repeat the same mistakes all couple have fallen to without this critical knowledge. We encourage you to dig in to the 5 Food Groups, people around the world are enjoying the benefits.
Don't put to much into the usage of the word 'Dominant', it merely describes a relationship where the woman has greater responsibility and authority as a leader for the couple. People constantly say "a male dominated world" and no one thinks of men in leather corsets with whips. It is a double standard, and a dirty trick to have such double standards especially when they represent a system of control over all our lives beckoning us follow a traditional pattern of living.
There are couples into FLR who want to socialize with you in their local area. There are links to good web sites. We have opened classifieds so couples and singles can reach out to others and people can promote FLR products and services. The ads are free but require approval. Click the "Classifieds" tab above to see them, and/or add your own.
Move the needle for yourself and all men by attending new FLR courses. Look forward to 6 new MAG courses designed to help men and women find fulfillment in FLR. MAG (Men's Accountability Groups) are designed to help you grow and change your thinking. A wise man once sang, "Free Your Mind... and Your Ass Will Follow" --Funkadelic. If men hold onto their old ideas they will continue to be frustrated. Coming Soon!
Programming notes: men will automatically be granted open communication when they reach 60 points. Men with scores above 300 will automatically become mentors to other men. All course handbooks (PDF) will be $20.
Many men are obsessed with female led relationships "going all the way". Men in particular seem to take FLR all to seriously. Here are several comments that may lighten the load for you.
--A man emailed me to confess that he has over loaded his relationship with his obsession. He said "what was I thinking?" "That kind of pushy obsessive behavior does not work very well" and I added "often sabotages a couples chance for a happy relationship."
--A women asked me if she could "rule him only in the bedroom?" "Of course you can" I said. Look people, relationships can be designed any way you can agree on together. Don't get so obsessed with "going all the way" that you miss the joys of each of the 5 food groups. And don`t forget to experiment along the way to see if you like it before "going all the way." Life needs more fun and less pressure.
Consider the Female Led Home for a moment; you know the ones without men, such as happens after divorce? Women lead the home, seek out new guys and do just fine. They make all the rules and if they feel empowered, there is no reason that cannot continue when a man enters the home. Women often feel compelled to surrender leadership because of traditions, but there is no tradition governing blended families. We are free to make our own traditions. Women are free to continue to lead the home even when men are present.
Big duh? We don't think so.... The topic of women struggling with FLR when their men are not following the program is common. We have dozens of examples of men sabotaging their own enjoyment of FLR which kills their woman's confidence. This is why we have been promoters of goal setting, agreements, practice and training; and why we remain supportive of couples getting outside help and following programs. Goal setting, agreements, practice and training have serious benefits to leaders and supporters. All to often we hear of couples suffering needlessly because they don't know where they are going. All of us know about financial plans, planning your vacation, education plans, and tax plans but most overlook the importance of relationship plans. Going the extra yard will be revealing. You will see clearly how far you have to go to make your relationship goals work by writing them down and comparing notes.
There is blame enough to go around, but that is not how relationships thrive, they thrive by encouraging each member and working together. Find the problems and fix them. Blame kills relationships by destroying the confidence and openness of the members. Encouragement no matter how feeble, moves the ball forward and keeps the communication lines open. The leadership during the set-up phase of a beautiful FLR comes from both partners; Then over time the man surrenders control while the women takes more control. She grows in confidence because of the encouragement of her man. Women who are not enjoying the benefits of their leadership and FLR clearly need to step-up and create a plan of action.
The 5 Food Groups In depth
Introduce your wife to FLR
For Relationships in Crisis
|Women were asked|
|I like the thought of leading a man?|
|In Some Ways||No||Yes|
Only 2% of women don't like the idea of leading their men in some way and 75% like the thought of leading. That is a change in how things have been done, a departure form the tradition of male leadership.
|Men were asked|
|I am willing to obey my woman?|
|If She Wants||No||Yes|
99% of men said they were willing to "obey" their woman - women in female led relationships will enjoy less dissension. Imagine the cultural shift if men, in open society, could do just that.
|Women were asked|
|Who is better at leadership?|
91% of women said they are equal to or better at leadership than men. This means women think they can do a better job leading.