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There are men who on their way to self actualization and fulfillment want/need/desire consensual slavery. But is the slavery really the root of their need? IF we dig together maybe we can light a candle on this subject. My personal belief is that men need connection, intimacy and to some extend vulnerability and dependency to really have relationships and they sense that so slavery looks like a way to bring all that into focus. I suspect there is a better way called surrender to a women with intelligence who can lead a man to fulfill his needs.
Author: 2011-02-20 14:14:21 [reply]
I would have to agree with your analysis. The need to play out the role of a slave is an outward expression of the deeper emotional need of especially intimacy and vulnerability.
Reply by: Cosearcher 2012-02-13 22:48:41
VictorYou are right in that analysis, but Again - in a true FLR >4 the woman is totally in control in what could be seen as slavery. For my part that position as a submissive male would be the new and cherished normal situation.
Reply by: Serv_joe 2018-01-02 10:04:44
I would say yes, provided she and he were in agreement and it was on her path to being self actualized and his, aside from that no!
Author: 2011-02-21 09:53:26 [reply]
Ann I would agree. The woman's needs need to be validated here.
Reply by: Marc12 2011-03-28 21:56:02
A wiseman once told me that EVERYONE has something worth listening too and when you listen enough you will get smarter. We value the ideas and opinions of our readers on the topic of "Are there any positive elements in consensual slavery that benefit couples?. "True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information." Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)
When a dominant female takes control of every aspect of my life, I am enamored with her and always want more. When she humiliates me in front of her friends, I deem it an act of love.
Author: 2011-06-01 11:05:13 [reply]
Reply by: 2011-06-01 20:45:11 [reply]
I guess you do not enjoy being served aby a male and having every whim catered to. If you gave it a ry you wou, I'm sure, adore it.
Reply by: 2011-06-02 11:16:03
Guest WRONG! I don`t enjoy being served by a man who wants to be humiliated. Humiliation is a good tool but in your case it is yuck because it is predominate. You need to learn surrender and sacrifice and humility. Those things will get you where you want to go.
Reply by: 2011-06-04 13:11:06
Guest I think the ick factor here is the very casual high level description of your desired relationships with women. I am curious as to the specifics. Can you share whether this has ever occurred with you and if so, within what context? Pro-domme? Long relationship? It would carry more weight with me if it were supported by real experience to the point that it was distinguishable from fantasy.
Reply by: 2011-08-27 06:02:28 [reply]
what about a guy who is a train wreck, and she saves him, herself, the kids and the relationship by his becoming a slave to her. Sounds like a good trade to me. ;)
Author: 2011-09-15 19:44:40 [reply]
surrender is nothing we can vie for. It just happens. It happens when we allow the loving leadership of our spouse to touch our core. When we embrace her natural leadership and her decisions in our life. Surrender is love. Slavery is a fantasy hoping to gain attention without love. It can be a strong incentive to try FLR and for her to build upon as she guides him deeper along her lines. Slavery is impossible in FLR for FLR is based upon a love relationship. His will for slavery can be his will to follow her rule and one day learn that he cannot escape her love. Then surrender might happen.
Author: 2013-02-25 08:41:55 [reply]
It can be very good and effortless if it is with the person you really get it is what both want and are at there best cause they are together
Author: 2012-04-11 10:00:34 [reply]
Laceylisa My opinion it is very very rare that someone could benefit from being completely submissive, makes a better game. Enjoy!
Reply by: 2012-04-23 14:56:58 [reply]
For me, what can be positive is to surrender control joyously and freely as a gift to a leading woman for the benefit of the relationship. I'm not sure how useful it is to play around with words and definitions in the context of a real relationship (as distinct from abstract ideas and fantasy.) All I know is that for me the phrase "consensual slavery" has a very different feel to it than that of a joyous gift, freely offered to a person who you respect and admire. Consensual slavery sounds to me like something that is all about the point of view and desires of the person who wants to think of himself as a slave. It's a selfish idea. Offering control is about honouring the woman and doing your best to understand her preferences, to the benefit of both people in the relationship. I'm not sure if that's an entirely logical distinction but it is how I feel about it.
Author: 2012-08-04 10:05:38 [reply]
I can't speak for others, only myself. As a man who has lived in a real 24/7 D/s relationship I would like to express my views from two perspectives. First, my perception of how my Mistress felt. I think that one thing She felt was pride in knowing that she had someone who was always thinking of her and thinking of ways to please her. I base my opinion on what she in said phone conversations she had (in my presence) with friends. Another thing I know she liked was control of the intimate aspects of our relationship. She always initiated anything that happened and never ran out of ideas which I took to be a sign of enthusiasm. What I can say regarding my feelings about this lifestyle choice was, aside from the excitement and fulfillment I felt, it made my daily life far more regimented and, as a result, my time management was more efficient. Living within a more less predetermined framework was very liberating. I think that it is unfortunate that the conventional thinking on the issue seems to be that there is something dark and decadent about the lifestyle. While I concede that people can make it whatever they choose, it can result in a fulfilling relationship with endless rewards for both people.
Author: 2014-02-03 15:46:34 [reply]
We are getting irritated at men posting stupid comments here - this is not the place to tell us how your wife beats you - we are looking for intelligent dialog about the "positive elements in consensual slavery that benefit couples" not fantasy dribble.
Author: 2013-12-28 01:18:56 [reply]
I would say that there can be positives for both parties really. Relationships can be difficult if you have two people constantly challenging each other for control in situations and where one party (say the man in this case), hands over control to the woman, that can be quite a freeing action for the man, whilst it allows the woman to be able to have things done as she would like, without the wasting of energy in the power struggle. I guess that there are different levels of slavery, but I suppose if it is viewed like a boss/employee type arrangement, then I feel that this sort of arrangement can work well in relationships. I would say that it doesn't have to be that one party holds all of the power either. Quite often one party(say the man) is better at arranging one area, where the woman is better taking control of most other areas.
Author: 2017-02-13 09:39:41 [reply]
Personally, since adopting this dynamic with my wife, I feel I have become a better and more productive husband in many facets of our relationship that benefits us both. I could write a book on this, but for now I`ll simply mention domestic responsibilities as an example. I find it far easier to focus my attention on them if I take ownership. When my wife does chores, instead of thinking "she is doing some chores", I think "she is helping with my chores." Instead of feeling entitled to her help, I feel grateful and rewarded. Secondly, serving my wife as a "slave" allows me to practice vicarious enjoyment. The ability to truly feel enjoyment vicariously is a learned skill that takes practice. There`s no better way to practice this skill then through consensual self-sacrifice that this "slave" dynamic imposes. I fell that through this dynamic, I have developed and matured in this way remarkably. This maturity benefits not only her but it also enables me to be a better father. I find myself motivated to do things as a family not for my own benefit, but for the enjoyment I feel vicariously by seeing my wife and children happy. - edited by staff [reason: 20 points were added to this users MAG score for an excellent reply]
Author: 2017-09-12 16:39:49 [reply]
Of course, in our machistic chauvinist society we have men with a high ego and women with frequent self-esteem problems, the man considers himself indispensable but the sexy toy and the lesbians make the man less and less indispensable in bed, the robots make him less and less indispensable in work, so we have an alpha male who believes to be worth 100 and in fact it is worth 10. humiliations within the couple have the power to make humble and tolerant this man who is overwhelmed and more confident of herself the Woman who in reality is the energy of the universe.
Author: 2017-11-02 21:21:56 [reply]
I can only speak as man seeking an FLR. There are a lot of ideas that are attractive to me. Personally, I feel more comfortable in the presence of a strong, intelligent, self-reliant woman as all my life I have been surrounded by strong women who were of high intelligence and competence. Although I lived in a world where the man appeared to be dominant, I knew always that women possess wisdom and native ability on a greater scale than many men believed. This was never a problem for me. However, I do have a problem with the idea of consensual slavery. I suppose that mostly it is a question of semantics but the two words form what I consider an oxymoron that I consider irreconcilable. Slavery, we all know is one of the gravest offences that man has perpetrated on other men and women. It is the taking of someone's liberty and rights and forcing them to labour without recompense. To consent to that kind of life seems to be impossible because of the inherent violence of the system. This, I feel has been something that has always concerned me was the taking of someone else's freedom and dignity. So in the context of an FLR, I have difficulty with the concept of this violent take-over of someone's person. What I do like and respect is the concept of surrender. When you surrender you give something. In the case of FLR, I believe that surrender to a woman is the ultimate act of love. Surrender may involve the sacrificing of certain freedoms but it is done willingly with love. If you take on responsibilities such as doing the physical work around the home it is done out of love. If you submit to chastity, it is done out of love, If you surrender your finances, your free time or the life direction of your partner, these are all surrendered out of love. For me you are giving the greatest gift of all, yourself, to a noble venture; the success of someone you love. I am not suggesting that this surrender is easy and that there won't be some correction along the way. But the end result is your gift to the world; a strong, able, wise woman who can lead not only in the home but in the world.
Author: 2018-01-05 02:25:58 [reply]
To me the word “slave” in this context has a bit of a sexual undertone and seems to evoke some kind of lust but it can also be seen in another way. I love my wife very much and serving and pleasing her is for me a source of profound happiness but I do not feel as a slave to her in the classic sense of the word. She always earned a lot more than I did (I’m retired now) and owns the house, the car and the bankaccount and I have always given her my full salary. In the beginning of our relationship we have both fully agreed that she was going to be the head of the household and I was going to do all the household chores. Maybe from this perspective you could say that this is consensual “slavery” but if so then for me it is a “slavery” that is very positive and actually works liberating because it is in full agreement with my personality. There is also absolutely no form of submission in our relation. I also have a remark on your photo survey as I was somewhat surprised at the number of pictures with completely naked men. Surprised, because myself, and also because my wife likes it, I have always run completely naked in the house for decades and thought I was a bit of an exception. In the pictures where the man was serving tea, serving the 4 women on the terrace, doing the laundry, opening the door or standing naked near his wife it was as if I was looking at myself. This is actually how I live at home. I definitely did not recognize myself in the ones where the man was in submission. The idea of living the way I do must be more popular than I thought because otherwise the pictures in the survey would be rather irrelevant. I wonder how at “aboutflr” did they know this and post such appropriate pictures ?
Author: 2018-05-18 08:47:24 [reply]