Christian men who want to be led by their mate - issues in flr -

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Christian men who want to be led by their mate - issues in flr -

Discussing Issues in Female Led Relationships

The topic of "Christian men who want to be led by their mate - issues in flr -" is covered from the viewpoint of the Author of this website, what Experts say about "Christian men who want to be led by their mate - issues in flr -" and how our users feel about the subject. You can participate freely. We invite expert opinion via email. We value all kinds of information such as: research, anecdotal information and perspective.

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As a Christian man I can testify that most Christian women are not natural leaders but some are. I had a couple of friendships with women who were better ministers than their mates. Women in Christianity need permission from their men to lead, they will if you empower them, but don`t try that on a submissive or passive aggressive type or it will blow up in your face.
Author: Ben 2011-06-23 16:54:14    [reply]
Ben Some, not all forms of christianity/religion require female submission.
Reply by: Chris68 2011-08-22 04:25:17    
I've been around Christianity all my life and I came to know Christ for real was 21. I can honestly say that many Christian women are the true leaders in the household, even though they would tell you their husbands are.
Reply by: Cosearcher 2012-02-15 00:31:31    

What our users say

A wiseman once told me that EVERYONE has something worth listening too and when you listen enough you will get smarter. We value the ideas and opinions of our readers on the topic of "Christian men who want to be led by their mate - issues in flr - "True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information." Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

I know lots of really assertive Christian women, although I think few would go beyond a level 3 FLR and many would not admit they were the Head of the Household because of prevalent teaching on female submission. My wife has definitely assumed control of our 5 Food Groups and knows that she is the Head of the Household! I am on an allowance, look to her for decisions and approvals or all kinds, have sex when she chooses, have learned not to climax nor masturbate, and have a growing list of delegated tasks I am responsible for that free her time for more important things. In other words, I have been blessed with a dream life! This all came about because we argued incessantly and I finally began giving in. She took every inch of ground I gave her until I found out how happy it made me to submit to her, and it has become more of me pulling her along now than anything else. I really do believe there are few women, Christian or otherwise, who would turn down complete control of the family finances from their man, unlimited performance of household chores to leave them more time to do as they please, unlimited non-sexual body massage, sex that was completely at their discretion and revolved completely around their own satisfaction, and just generally all the respect, honor, obedience, and deference that the acknowledged leader in the relationship deserves. I have to be honest. The only reason we don't have the dominant Valkyries we fantasize about is because we are too darn lazy to serve them as they already deserve.
Author: Michigander 2011-10-17 13:14:10    [reply]
Michigander I very much agree with you! It has been along time since you have posted and I would love to hear how your relationship is going?
Reply by: Guest 2018-01-28 04:58:47    [reply]
It seems most of the time men, in the "Christian" context see leading as directing or being the planner or final say. As I read the bible, Men are the head of there family the way Christ is the head of the Church. He gave himself up for the church, served for the Church, made himself nothing for the Church, and ultimately died for the Church. It also talks about submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. If men immitated Christ in this way, FLR or not, life would be so much more ammazing for everyone. Just my 2 cents worth.
Author: Troy44 2012-02-14 08:40:35    [reply]
Troy44 Misspelled words. I just got anxious, sorry.
Reply by: Troy44 2012-02-14 08:43:48    [reply]
Troy44 A good thought sometimes exceeds spelling
Reply by: Guest 2012-02-14 14:28:39    
Right on Troy! I have to wonder how many Christian households live within some form of a FLR?
Reply by: Cosearcher 2012-02-15 00:38:24    [reply]
Troy is correct. We are supposed to be servants of one another and to love our wives as Christ loved the church, ultimately giving everything for it. My Princess has been so much happier since we began our new relationship, it has also helped HER to overcome some issues SHE has with father modeling. If the your father here on earth can't love you unconditionally, how can you transfer an image of unconditional love to a heavenly Father? By serving My Princess I demonstrate the unconditional love SHE deserves and live as Christ's example of that love to HER.
Author: Guest 2012-03-14 06:57:08    [reply]
Guest I tend to agree that men can be servant leaders by empowering and enabling their wife to lead. That sounds like good leadership from men. There is a scripture about men and women submitting themselves together and another one about his body does not belong to him and vise versa. Did not Christ lay down his life? Why not men then?
Reply by: Guest 2012-03-14 07:20:14    [reply]
Me and my wife have starting living now, with her in full control of my life, and she is in full control of our money, and she is fully in control of our sex, and I am loving this. I am a very strong and brave man, who is very succesful, I manage many people every day at work, and I can stand up to anyone and defend myself, defend my family, and defend my employees, but when I am with my wife, I just want her to control me and tell me what to do.
Author: Guest 2012-08-06 23:12:30    [reply]
I do like the female led relationship, but my wife and I feel like I need to stay the head of the family because that is what the Bible teaches. I am allowing her to control me now, it is an option that I can take back anytime I want, but I dont think I ever want to go back. Because I volunteer to do this, we both feel like I am still head of the house, and we are ok with this now.
Author: Guest 2012-08-06 23:03:39    [reply]
Every FLR is a hybrid of some sort. We are all free moral agents. We all have different gifts and graces. For a woman to ignore her husband's gifts for the sake of FLR is self-defeating and vice versa. As Christians, my wife and I agreed that I should be the leader of our home. My wife was a stronger and better leader than I was. Our compromise looked like this: I was to make all of the large decisions and she was to make all of the small decisions. The kicker was that she got to decide which decisions where large decisions and which decisions were small decisions. That left me able to be her brave knight jousting dragons and promoting the interests of our family while at the same time she had control and the right and authority to make decisions when and where she wanted, which is, when you get right down to it, what FLR is all about.
Author: Traveler 2013-08-26 17:53:25    [reply]
My wife and I have practiced my being a servant leader for about ten years: Along the lines of the book Every Man's Marriage. It has been a real blessing for us. I guess it looks like a secular WLM, just without the kinky aspects. Sex is definently on her terms, with me a servant leader in bed too. Masturbation went out the door shortly after we met, unless it is in her presence with her OK. And ejaculations are down to once a month or less because we both see how much better I serve when I don't have release. She wants a lot of help around the house and with the kids, and she does not want to usually be aggressive in bed. So, I give her all she wants and she is much happier than before our Christian WLM. And my life is much better as a result. She actually wants sex now about 3 times a month because she does not have to do any of the work. I will gladly take doing the work over no sex at all.
Author: Guest 2013-10-23 16:25:17    [reply]
Guest I also have read the book Every Man's Marriage and I think it is a great book to help a Christian man learn how to serve his wife. As I have grown in the last 10 months in my understanding of how to submit to my wife , I am much happier and she is to. Even though we have not discussed this in a formal way, it is obvious to me that she enjoys this new powershift in our relationship. I wish I would have had my eyes opened to all of this years ago. We have been married for 30 years and I hope that I can live out the rest of our years together in total devotion and service to her.
Reply by: Guest 2018-01-28 04:47:30    [reply]
It feels really good to see that I'm not alone in my desires and needs as a strong beautiful dominant woman who is a Christian. I want to find a man who would fancy giving himself to me and serving me because I've known for a long time, first deep down and then more clearly that I crave such a situation and that I'm built for it. I just haven't figured out how and where to obtain this astounding remarkable man who wishes for such a paradigm. I know he must be out there somewhere though and I continue to pray and wait and be patient and ready. I believe that submitting to a man is best done by being yourself and finding a man who desires you to be the creature you are. So I seek a man who fancies a dominant strong clever benevolent woman who will adore him and give him the desired privelidge of serving her.
Author: The Memsahib Riona 2015-11-11 00:43:47    [reply]
I do believe that a Christian FLR is Biblical just as a previous writer said. For Christ gave his life for the church and Christ was/is the greatest example of being a servant to others. So therefore a man can and honors his wife by serving her just as Christ blesses and makes the church holy by dying and being a servant. It is too bad that few Christian women will allow themselves to be in a Christian FLR. For it would be a relationship based upon love grace and forgiveness. When a husband serves his wife he is fulfilling the call of Christ to be a servant. I look forward to someday finding a woman who will journey with me in a Christian FLR.
Author: Lefty 2016-03-20 18:53:37    [reply]
Somehow I find myself coming back to this thread every once in a while just to see ...Lefty
Reply by: The Memsahib Riona 2018-01-15 18:11:21    [reply]
The Memsahib Riona If anyone thinks the bible is perfect they need to ask themselves why there are millions of books and sermons interpreting the bible for them. Why does something perfect need interpretation. You should feel free to simplify your faith to lose yourself from the huge burden of religious writing and tradition. One does not need to usurp a mans authority if the man defers to a woman. Any guy, smart or dumb is going to ask his wife what she thinks and consider it. Leaders can make mistakes (male or female). Sometimes even in a traditional relationship the man may say, "you decide honey and we will go with that." Paul was a Pharisees so like all of us his training and instincts influenced his writing. Pharisees are the kind of people who developed the huge burdens of tradition heaped on man by religion. They figured if we follow a formula we are better people for it; so they lived like engineers, but even for all that it does no good. Jesus said "my yoke is easy and my burden is light." So if you are not feeling easy and light, check to see of your yoke is heavy and why?
Reply by: Ben 2018-01-15 20:09:18    
The Memsahib Riona Yes, it has been a while since I have been here but I still believe in a FLR. A man shows forth Christ most fully when he is servant to all and that is primarily with his woman.
Reply by: Leftygood 2018-02-15 21:02:17    
Lefty I hope to find a Christian man one day who I can be in an FLR with.
Reply by: Myhello 2018-02-17 15:34:55    [reply]
Myhello Well, hopefully it will come. I myself am in Nebraska and I'm 54 yrs old.
Reply by: Leftygood 2018-02-18 17:15:47    
Marriage as Abraham and Sarah - mutual subjection: God said to Abraham: "... whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her..." (Genesis 21:12)
Author: Amilin 2016-06-02 16:23:49    [reply]
The hard part is searching carefully and waiting for that person to be in my life. I'm also trying to be okay with the idea of not finding a mate. Because I'd rather be single than be stuck in an ordinary relationship paradigm that I don't want to be in and that I don't feel I was built for. Continuing to humbly ask God to bring him to me and lead me to him, and asking for patience in the waiting process and asking for the ability to be okay with not finding a mate if that is what God has in his plan for me.
Author: The Memsahib Riona 2016-09-01 01:31:19    [reply]
God blessed us with a strong marriage for over 20 years now. We are both very strong-willed but I tend to crave submitting to my beloved wife. Somehow, from deep within I desire to submit to her and let her be the head of our family. She would be also very interested in it... but both of us can clearly see that the Bible calls for the husband to be the head. We both see the need for this to be a servanthood leadership but we can't make a decision for her to be in authority. Does your Guide address this in the version for Christians?
Author: XOXOM.UU 2017-04-06 18:48:10    [reply]
Some revisited thoughts.... I recently reread a blog which is quite long and legal sounding where a christian wife was telling how she sought FLR and became miserable and her husband got depressed. She compared her seeking FLR to Eve as the first women to lead an FLR thus leading Adam into sin -- quoting the curse. "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." So it is written. Now you have to ask yourself if Jesus came to reverse the curse of not? You can be assured God does not visit the sins of the father on the son, man take care of that all by himself. No one is ever judged for their ancestors sins; but for their own. Eve's sin has no hold on any woman and Jesus died so you could be free, but even if he did not die, you still are not guilty of Eve's sin. Now you just have to live like it. In your freedom do good things not evil. Jesus said "I am the way the truth and the life" live like it.
Author: Ben 2018-01-15 20:11:14    [reply]
I'm certainly ready for it, I have no compunctions really, its just a matter of finding that man who is ready/wants it too. I've never really felt like I was built wrong, its just a matter of finding the man who is built compatibly to me, who lives nearby as my whole family is here and I'm not willing to relocate (Portland OR). But being patient and waiting, and searching is the challenge.
Author: The Memsahib Riona 2018-02-05 13:53:00    [reply]
I see nothing wrong with a Christian man submitting to his wife at home. It's a wonderful way to show his love and devotion to her and to create a happy homelife. A man can benefit so much from his wife's leadership. I'm single and would be very open to exploring FLR with a strong confident Christian lady.
Author: Pleasingyou 2018-03-17 17:12:26    [reply]
A Christian husband who really wants to serve his wife is living what Christ taught a husband should do. Love his wife as Christ loves the church and sacrificed his life for her!
Author: Her servant 2018-03-24 18:57:20    [reply]


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