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In my relationship, motivating my man into an FLR had been a sensitive topic. I had to do this with “kid gloves” on. I say this, because most men (mine particularly), need to feel like they are in charge, in the day to day relationship. And transitioning them into the FLR certainly changes the gender role. My man needs to feel like this was his idea, and it will be an easier transition. This is a skill women who’ve been married for many years, have mastered. But, for the younger relationships out there, this is the key to success, for many things. If you subtly plant the seed in his mind, he thinks it over, ponders it, and brings it back up for suggestion later; now it is now his idea. Once he brings up the idea, you can add your thoughts and suggestions to it, as well. Using this method worked best; at least it did for my relationship. And be sure to continue to remind him how he is always full of brilliant ideas!
Author: 2011-02-20 13:14:57 [reply]
A wiseman once told me that EVERYONE has something worth listening too and when you listen enough you will get smarter. We value the ideas and opinions of our readers on the topic of "Describe his motivation issues - Issues in female led relationships. "True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information." Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)
Men who want FLR likely need external motivation. How much motivation are you helping your man with and how does it work?
Author: 2010-12-10 18:12:48 [reply]
The main issue I see in men wanting FLR is they want to give up being manly - the idea of sissification to me is repulsive, laughable and weak. I see his motivation as being unwilling to continue as when I first met him. I want the man I married, even though I am leading him now.
Author: 2011-01-24 16:10:33 [reply]
Betty R. As a man in a troubled FLR, I can tell you that for me, this aspect is only there due to the conditioning associated with FLR Dark. I have attempted to resolve this by filtering all those sites and using a chastity device as a way of interrupting the FLR Dark addiction cycle. Its a tough road that may never completely end, but as we go I already notice a dropping off of some of those desires that are Dark driven. This may vary from case to case and I share this only as an example based on my experience.
Reply by: 2011-08-24 09:20:07 [reply]
Men who love FLR love to be humiliated. This could be a secret fetish that is required to be able to grow hard and climax, but this is not always the case. A sexually submissive female will always create pleasure in their man, whether he's being forced to lick her feet, be humped with a strap-on, or to get naughty with another man for her threesome pleasure.
Author: 2011-01-26 12:42:20 [reply]
Be caring and listen to his needs. Most men are unafraid of showing emotion, but if you share a strong connection in and out of the bedroom, he must learn to open up. Play a sexual game where he agrees to let you into his mind with every dominant move. Getting to the root of a problem can create a healing crisis. There may be old lingering memories that are dominating his current motivations, the list goes on and on.
Author: 2011-01-26 13:00:07 [reply]
Girlwithadirtymind "Play a sexual game" is a great way to disarm him, set his mind on you and the moment you are both sharing. Dim the lights, have him sit facing away from you, touch him constantly in loving and tender ways. Women are so good at this. blush!
Author: 2011-01-27 17:43:05 [reply]
Gordon is motivated by two things knowing what to do and then being surprised which effectively has him learning new territory. There are certain things he's expected to do, basic rules of engagement and he does those. It makes my life easier to have some things just done.
Author: 2011-01-28 15:40:46 [reply]
Liv I can see the importance of clear goals and knowing what to do as a motivator. I'm not clear - but intrigued - about being surprised as a motivator. Can you or anyone else using this technique give any more details please?
Reply by: 2012-10-12 05:02:24 [reply]
Karim56 Let`s say your goal is to become a better listener, if your wife gives you positive feedback you will be more motivated to grow in that area. The suggested reward is more positive interaction and a higher interest from her in leading. When she tells you how much she enjoys leading, you have your reward. If you do this same exercise the kinky way, you will tend to push her away from you because she has to both perform for your benefit and help you change at the same time, not a good combination. One way it is a win win, the other way a lose lose. When your wife is more motivated, there may be more kink because she may be more motivated to test boundaries. Keep it about your growth not her performance to your expectations.
Reply by: 2012-10-13 18:16:08
Karim56 Thank you SusanM88. My first hope is to gain approval from meeting my wife's expectations, while my second hope is that she will go on to raise the bar and challenge me to improve further. On reflection perhaps my question to Liv about her use of surprise as a motivator is about whether she means increased expectations, or wherher she meant something else entirely. But as you mention it is important to grow, not to push.
Reply by: 2012-10-14 17:14:17
It seems to me that most men are not internally motivated for female led relationships. I look at the number of men who come to this site, the number who have signed up for the mag things and the number who have scores above 30 and it looks like evidence that men are looking for something different then willingly participating. About 1% sign-ed up and 6% of those got good scores.
Author: 2011-04-27 10:02:24 [reply]
Guest Please see below. I hit the wrong button.
Reply by: 2011-04-27 13:41:37 [reply]
I have had a good time in MAG. I have learned alot about myself, my motivations, her needs and motivations. I invite you to join and discover. Sincerely gat1207
Author: 2011-04-27 13:40:56 [reply]
I am currently serving my wife with the only motivation being orgasm postponement and denial/ruined o's. I am not sure she completely understands that I need more teasing. She is not a highly sexed person so I tend to suffer in silence. I do tell her how I need more regular verbal teasing...to keep me aroused. I am aware that this can push her away and I am really trying to let her come to the idea. I guess more feedback is needed for my motivation. Her requiring me to do more chores does serve as a turn on in itself but also I would like more review of my performance and a solid connection between my performance/attitude and my reward/correction. That is not something she has linked. That is perhaps my profounest wish.
Author: 2013-09-11 06:10:23 [reply]