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Women are interested in a confident submission and not so interested in humiliation. Women want the final word on decisions including sex and they want to control male ejaculation. Is being told no you can't have what you want "Humble Pie?"
Author: 2011-03-02 12:05:42 [reply]
Beth I wrote you once before with questions about how important controlling male ejaculation is to an FLR, and how it affects the males who have their ejaculations controlled. As I recall, the response from your staff was that most FLR's do not involve ejaculation control, but that it can be practiced to spice up the relationship. Your recent comment appears to indicate that you have changed your opinion on this subject. I am not trying to start a controversy, I am just interested in learning how the majority of FLR's are operated by real couples. Controlling male ejaculation appears to be a given on every other FLR web site that I have seen.
Reply by: Curiousone 2011-05-03 23:19:31
Beth I was mearly commenting on how women responded to the surveys. There is no connection between orgasm denial and FLR but some couples seem to want to practice it.
Reply by: Guest 2011-05-04 06:03:21
Beth Thanks for your quick reply. I think there is a need for extensive interviews of couples practicing FLR at all levels in order to ascertain what the common practices within the various levels of FLR's actually are. There seems to be a lot of speculation presented, versus factual data.
Reply by: Curiousone 2011-05-05 09:47:42
Curiousone There is a big difference between wanting to control sex + climax and orgasm denial. You make a good point about the lack of data in that direction - we do have good data about the desire of men for chastity and orgasm denial etc but not much is know about what parts of sex women want control of. It should be noted women want more control of the attitudes and behaniors of men than they did contol over sex - by as much as 30% more.
Reply by: Guest 2011-05-05 10:31:49
Beth Men can't always have what they want, especially when it damages the relationship! Being told 'No' in this context is no different than a parent telling a child 'No' when they want to play with the stove. Surrendering control sexually is important in FLR because men will (WILL) covertly masturbate which undermines his total dedication to the woman in his life and gives that energy to a false image of another woman. FWIW, I think that in practical terms in a FLR it is healthiest for the woman to control her man this way. It keeps him attentive. It keeps him focused on her and only her. It keeps him away from a lot of ancillary trouble that comes from having trouble controlling desires.
Reply by: Tempesto 2011-05-21 12:04:06
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Part of me is turned on by "being humbled" - that is my fantasy and part of me is motivated to be humble because it is such as beautiful response to her love.
Author: 2011-03-03 21:21:01 [reply]
When my wife corrects me she is usually so gentle that I don't even realize that I am being corrected. Occationally though when it is very clear that I am being stuburn or slow to get it she will be more direct. It is amazing to me that when she does have to get more direct that she usually notices that I get somewhat turned on. That tends to humble me even more.
Author: 2011-04-27 13:11:43 [reply]
No, I do not feel or believe that being told that I can't have what I want is "humble pie." In many relationships there is a more dominant person and a less dominant person, in some circumstances the more dominant person may take on the responsibility of controlling the less dominant person, and that may include telling him that he can't have what he wants. Rather he will get what she wants to give him, this is not humble pie, it is life in a FLR.
Author: 2011-05-17 19:24:38 [reply]
Many of the suggestions of the article on retraining are humbling. These include requiring her permission to speak (or do other things, like spending money), being naked while she is clothed, and kissing her feet. Some blogs have other humbling examples, such as the examples on the worshippingyourwife blog that discuss her limiting his available money to $10 and requiring him to report when he spends money so she can replenish it. Also on that blog is a discussion of a man being required to behave in a certain way when he accompanies his girlfriend and one of her friends on shopping trips.
Author: 2011-05-20 17:56:35 [reply]
This is something
i[I]'m working on to be a better companion to my W[w]ife. i[I] like to argue, so i'm quick to say something. i[I]'m getting better though. - edited by staff (female, she, her and wife and not capitalized except at the beginning of a sentence, i for men is not lower case)
Author: 2011-08-24 20:39:25 [reply]
Even when the woman has best intentions and practices with regard to correction, it can come with moments of shame and humility for the man. It is pretty natural when one is used traditionally to see themselves as in control and feels how much value society puts on that. I shouldn't need her to have to control my sexuality, I should just do the right thing, and it is humbling to formally acknowledge that I fall short.
Author: 2011-08-24 23:21:58 [reply]
When the kids grew up and moved out, we were still young but our relationship was more than a bit stale. We experimented, and our relationship seemed to grow into a FLR one over the span a couple of years. We both wanted to spice things up a bit, and they really are spicy now. My wife rules the roost. I am subservient, but not abused or humiliated, and for us it works. I admit that I live with some restrictions, including some that stretch into our bedroom, but this makes us happy and I like it this way.
Author: 2011-12-29 17:05:42 [reply]
With regard to Humiliation, there is a certain amount of embarrassment that occurs during the normal Female Led Relationship and it is a way of displaying and affirming her control. There is certainly a component of embarrassment when you are [disciplined]
spanked or lectured while nude in front of[by] her, or corner time. Reminding him of his place in the relationship is important and is a good away to continually reinforce a woman’s authority over her guy. A male in a Female Led Relationship needs this to validate his identity and position in the relationship. - edited by staff
Author: 2012-01-19 16:01:58 [reply]
Jay214 I think detract from the issues of relationship when you use exact details. Perhaps you can find a way to describe things that take a little more imagination?
Reply by: 2012-01-19 19:19:29 [reply]
Radzzz I was trying to differentiate between the pragmatic meaning and semantic meaning of the word humiliation. This is difficult to do using vague references. The meaning of he word humiliation was brought up during the conversation by others. I don't think I'm detracting from the issues at all.
Reply by: 2012-02-17 00:43:41
Jay214 I don`t thing most women including myself are into the humiliation of men. Maybe as a game or a teaching tool which sometimes backfires but as a practice, it is a bad idea. It may be humbeling to follow a woman's lead but not humiliating.
Reply by: 2012-01-20 08:09:40 [reply]
Guest I think it depends on how different people think of these different words. It reminds me of a quote I once read: "Humbled and being humiliated are two different dogs fighting for the same piece of synonym pie" That being said, humble is probably a more precise word for what we are talking about, but I was trying to point out that there is sometimes an element of embarrassment that that precedes a humbling state(as in a teaching situation as you mentioned). I am not advocating humiliation per se,and especially not degradation which is also confused with the other terms.
Reply by: 2012-02-28 12:12:28
Guest Humiliate (Make (someone) feel ashamed and foolish by injuring their dignity and self-respect) is something done to you and humble (not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.) is what you do for yourself and others - my 2 cents.
Reply by: 2012-03-13 20:52:33
Jay214 I don’t know but I think that Jay may have struck upon something. I believe that a man needs and deserves validation that he is in an FLR. Be that validation either through humbling (guest below is correct), simple acknowledgement or some other act which speaks, that she is in charge and she recognizes/acknowledges that she is in fact in charge. Without this acknowledgment what do you have? Gat1207
Reply by: 2012-02-17 11:56:54 [reply]
Gat1207 Some of that validation comes from my wife just before we turn in. In that half hour or so before sleep, we might discuss many topics; events of the day, make plans, chit chat, and so on. But sometimes that time is her's alone. She might use it to bring up issues or concerns (perhaps about me). I know when she is in that mood, and that is the time that I know to humbly listen.
Reply by: 2012-03-15 17:22:52
Being humble, or being humbled by someone else, is an uplifting experience for you and perhaps for them. Humiliating yourself, or being humiliated by someone else, is debasing for you and for them. So try to be humble, and accept being humbled. It's about respect for yourself, for the one you love, and for the love that is your relationship. Avoid humiliation as bad for all three.
Author: 2012-08-23 15:45:04 [reply]
For me the longer I am to go with out orgasm, the more worshipful, compliant, and appreciative I become of the woman that I so dearly love. if it is up to me, and it is not, I would never orgasm. The feeling I have for Her is so wonderful, that I want it to never end. In fact often times, She will make me beg Her to not make me orgasm. because I think she is going to make me. The REAL gift for me is the feeling I have for Her, when I am kept chaste. FLR truely IS fulfillment.
Author: 2014-05-19 13:28:56 [reply]
Wannapleaser consider as well how she sees you - the women I know often change how they see their men in chastity. Which direction is it going, better impression of you or worse? Men need to be responsible to monitor that and discuss it with their partner.
Reply by: 2014-05-26 08:23:12 [reply]
I am really not sure if being humbled is different from being humiliated. I mnow thay to my wife it is. I think the distinction between these two concepts may in fact be at the heart of the differences between men and women. Men see everything in extreme absolutes and women can see nuance. Men crave objectification and shame...women generally just want them to abandon their control. Can the defference be the degree? Or is the definition completely.different? As I ponder my new life, I wonder if I do not need to learn the woman's definition of humble...and not my own extreme one.
Author: 2014-12-02 13:22:08 [reply]
I agree with Beth. The guy's job is to submit, to obey, he can't always have his way. It is HER job to make these decisions and he should remember he voluntarily ceded this power to Her.
Author: 2018-05-13 00:48:15 [reply]