The topic of "Moving from control to influence - Issues in female led relationships" is covered from the viewpoint of the Author of this website, what Experts say about "Moving from control to influence - Issues in female led relationships" and how our users feel about the subject. You can participate freely. We invite expert opinion via email. We value all kinds of information such as: research, anecdotal information and perspective.
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Servant leadership, leading large groups or people and other modern paradigms have replaced the bossy boss with the influential leader. Are you learning about your sphere of influence?
Author: 2010-12-10 17:46:39 [reply]
It is such a good idea to believe in oneself and lead with confidence. No one really need to control nor has that kind of energy. I recommend influence very quickly and lots of submission.
Author: 2011-01-07 18:54:05 [reply]
Betty R. I'm with you. When I first decided to give in and lead, it took too much energy. Some of the energy was forced by the pressure I felt to overachieve at leading. In this case, I want to share a little of my one venture into the classroom at the 6th grade level. My students were very poor kids in a little country community in GA. They had been passed but read about at a 2nd grade level. I was told to make sure their seats were far enough apart that they couldn't reach each other or I would have a fight. I didn't believe it. However, I learned. I also tried to lead by example in the classroom. I treated them as I want to be treated. They didn't fight but I really didn't have control of that classroom. Finally I announced to them that they wouldn't let me be nice to them so the paddle was going on for anything the next day. They didn't believe me first period. By the end of the day, I had paddled 17 kids. Never had to paddle another one. They settled down and worked with me after that. Sometimes you have to gain the control before you ease off.
Reply by: 2011-02-01 10:28:21 [reply]
Victoria Many men in female led relationships want to be controlled. It is what makes us seek this kind of relationship. We beg or spouses to not only lead but also to train us. We believe in their sound judgement - not only in lifestyle choices but especially in the nitty gritty day to day affairs. My wish for FLR is based on my feeling that I have failed and will continue to fail unless I concede control. Training means there is some kind of positive or negative reinforcement. I think that men who are committed to FLR are willing to grow under the natural influence of her leadership. In my opinion it is the concession of control that turns a vanilla relationship to FLR. However if we stay with control for the sake of control we are turning FLR into BDSM. In the end it will not be her discipline that will grow me, but my love for her and my wish to make an effort to be the person she needs.
Reply by: 2013-05-07 10:21:10