New to FLR - Issues in female led relationships

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New to FLR - Issues in female led relationships

Discussing Issues in Female Led Relationships

The topic of "New to FLR - Issues in female led relationships" is covered from the viewpoint of the Author of this website, what Experts say about "New to FLR - Issues in female led relationships" and how our users feel about the subject. You can participate freely. We invite expert opinion via email. We value all kinds of information such as: research, anecdotal information and perspective.

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What our users say

A wiseman once told me that EVERYONE has something worth listening too and when you listen enough you will get smarter. We value the ideas and opinions of our readers on the topic of "New to FLR - Issues in female led relationships. "True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information." Winston Churchill (British Orator, Author and Prime Minister during World War II. 1874-1965)

For a long time I have known I was different to what society dictated was normal for a relationship but didn't know what exactly it was that I wanted or needed. It has been growing stronger in me this need to find what it is I need and the last year it has been the most growth in me for understanding what i want and need. I know know with an absolute certainty what I want and need and that is a FLR. so here i will write as one that has not learnt the entirety of this but as a novice who has just stepped onto the path and is starting the journey of being a better man. What I write is of how I feel as I start and I am sure this will change as I learn and implement into my life. I have no need to control, I never have in fact I have always been one to want to please my partners. This has not worked in the past due to what the partner at the time saw as what they wanted. I love serving a woman and seeing her pleasure whether that be that I cooked a meal she liked or anything else. I have always got pleasure from seeing others happy and content. The joy in seeing a partner smile because they are happy and pleased is what I seek. I feel that I am looking to be somewhere between support and servant but this also depends on the woman i fall for or chooses me. Yes I know that sounds strange to say that but love is something that grows as you build a relationship and grow together, learning about each other and communicating all the time. So if a woman chose me I would give myself to the relationship and let her take charge of the five food groups. Sorry off topic a bit. As I learn I hope to become worthy to love, cherish, obey and worship a beautiful woman that can lead or relationship.
Author: Caringbrian 2016-04-17 22:17:43    [reply]
Author: Katy88 2011-08-13 19:32:41    [reply]
How sad that our education system requires the identification of Sir Winston Churchill!
Reply by: Thomaslost 2012-03-17 21:19:46    [reply]
What happened to the Around Her Finger Updates section of the web site operated by a couple calling themselves the Addisons? I believe it was considered to be one of the first web sites to address FLR, and although it leaned heavily on the sexual component, it was pretty basic and tame. The basic web site is still there, but there has been no updates to the letter section, which was really the heart of the site, for several months that I know of. There was no formal good-bye issued that I know of. Just curious to see if anybody knows what is going on.
Author: Guest 2012-08-31 23:02:11    [reply]
i need help in flr. i don't know how to approach my wife with it.
Author: Brock123 2012-09-16 20:19:15    [reply]
Brock123 I will tell you how I was approached with it, maybe it will help. First know and trust your wife. Then drop little hints, like key words, watch for her reaction, see if it awakens questions from her. Once I realized hints were being directed my way I was able to then come right and ask questions. Once I began getting answers I knew what it was that he wanted. I began by finding one article, sent it to him, asked him to tell me if I were on the right track and then to tell me what level he fell into. Then I ran with it. It saved our relationship! Good Luck!
Reply by: Chastity 2012-09-26 01:38:55    [reply]
thank you for your response. what kind of key words
Author: Brock123 2012-09-27 15:53:36    [reply]
Hi, I think I always had an interest in FLR, but just as a common male fantasy. I have started a steady relationship with my present girlfriend 4 years ago, but we have been living apart (we work in different cities). She always had a dominant side (also in bed) which I really liked. Now, we are about to live together and her dominant side is coming out even more. We have never talked about the subject, it has always been subtle hints, but she obviously wants to take control of me. Although I like the idea, I don't know I would react, since I stiil have my male pride and it kicks in when she is trying to assert her dominance. Do you have any advices on how I/she can control my male reaction? She has tried denying me sex, but it hasn't worked either. I think it made things even worse, as my testosterone just drove me off the walls. This is a very interesting blogue and I thank all suggestions.
Author: Guest 2013-08-05 15:20:15    [reply]
hi after reading a few FLR blogs and reading most of the content accessible here i began to wonder if my relationship wasn't heading this way; although it began mostly because of my interest in femdom, many of the little things the users here and on the blogs mention, that give shape to their relationships, are part of ours as well (expectations of obedience and servitude, some discipline and punishment, quite a lot of control - my wife checks/approves what i do on the nets, checks my account to see if i didn't throw money out the window and so on); i do understand that this all is consequence of my stupid actions in the past although until today i don't know if i was punished accordingly; so it seems FLR in our relationship came to be due to my faults and later begging not to be sent away - i did learn to like this in a masochistic way, although sometimes i struggle, because my pride and feelings of frustration don't allow me to comply without question as my mate expects; still there is more that causes an emotional uprising in me - relationships evolve, and ours evolves into FLR or so i understand it; so when i read about ongoing submission and how it shouldn't matter what i want/need in a relationship i started to fear that i would become nothing more than a more or less useful object, or so i understood what i found on this site(and saying 'i love my obedient hubbie' doesnt change a thing for me); my main thought is that i would live to fulfill certain tasks/roles only or as someone said before 'breed,feed and die'; did any of you have such fears of total objectification? if yes, how did you calm those fears? thanks in advance for any help
Author: Dv1983 2013-11-05 17:35:56    [reply]
I'm relatively new to the subject of FLR. Part of my curiosity is based on the fact that I believe I've had, I'll say mild" gender dysphoria since I was 10-12 years old. I've wished since I was 12 years old to have been raised as ab girl. My question is to what degree are FLR and Gender Dysphoria related, if at all?
Author: BetaMan 2013-12-29 10:18:26    [reply]
Hello; I too am new to FLR, but not to the fantasy... I recently met a woman So far out of my league on a dating website; and the first night we talked we identified we were both Very curious about this. We have this attraction towards each other that we have never felt, both of us have never tried FLR. We are currently discussing a FWB FLR type arrangement. I say FWB because she is concerned that I have too much drama in my life to commit to me completely. She has said that she always wants to retain the friendship because we have an AMAZING understanding of each other. I know I will fall for this woman, as wonderful as she is. I also know that I am up to whatever 'reschooling' she might have for me because she is very successful. I don't know what it is I need to do to persuade her to give me her heart, and I don't know if FLR is the best way to proceed in a Friends With Benefits type scenario... I am lost, and I am doing all I can to entice this woman to stay with me... Any suggestions? I really don't know where to look to begin to face this problem. Thanks very much.
Author: Mr. Utility 2014-05-08 11:42:09    [reply]
This question is silly. It assumes Superiority as a product of an accident of birth, not personal effort. With the assumption that Women are superior to Men, I can pair up any woman with any man and said superiority *should* be apparent. Let's say... Margaret "The God Warrior" Perrin up against Albert Einstein? Well, I can certainly see the inherit superiority. To me, superiority is a matter of personal effort. May women or men have certain natural advantages in areas? Yes. But if they do not tend to this advantage, it is worth nothing. Personal effort, however, brings superiority forth. My mother was more intelligent than my father, but my father was far better with money. My mother came from a wealthy family that paid for her to receive the best education, my father grew up terribly poor and spent his life learning how to handle money to make the most of it. Apply the same principle on a broader scale, if we are dealing with an idea of A being superior to B. To me, this idea is at the very core of submission. Submission is not, in my eyes, about "Women are Semi-Magical beings who need to be served by men in a manner which just so happens to align personally with my kinks. I mean, women's semi-divinity only truly comes out when she is forcing her sissified husband into a chastity belt, hur hur hur hur." It isn't about A needing to be served by B. It is about an A proving themselves worthy of being served by a B, and the same in reverse (There is a Maledom site to match every Femdom one). In my eyes, any man who unironically holds to the "Women are inherently superior and must be served" (In a highly fetishistic fashion. Hurhurhur. In Woman's world, man is a beast of burden who only serves. In the nude. Except for his chastity belt. And the buttplug shoved up his anus. This is a highly practical state of affairs.) is likely a weak person themselves. Intellectually, emotionally, physically, take your pick. With that in mind, I think they will be snatched up by any domme who gives them the time of day, no matter her quality. Perhaps this is my switch (And bisexual. I go both ways in more way than one) perspective talking, but I am not just wandering around looking for some woman to serve. Okay, maybe I am a bit on the side, but that's play, not life. In life, if I happen to find myself with a partner who is properly skilled and positioned to lead the relationship, I will gladly submit. This does not mean prancing around in a chastity belt, licking boots (*Maybe a bit*, but play vs. life and all that). It means making the decisions, though I still would imagine myself in an advisory role. It means handling the money. It means they are leading the *life* element of our world. If they're better positioned than I am to do that, either wholesale or piecemeal, I'll gladly relinquish that power. But I'm not a sexual servant to cook them dinner in the nude (I think I'll be the better cook six or seven times out of ten) with a vibrator up my ass, but I'll gladly cook them dinner after a long day. I'm a partner, not a slave. My SO may simply be better qualified to lead than I am. If not, and I find myself with a more submissive partner, I am capable of doing so myself. One of the benefits to swinging both ways. TL;DR - Superiority is worked for. Natural advantages are groomed. It isn't granted freely by accidents of birth. For myself, I have the pride and strength to accept that I'll only be submitting to someone worthy of submission. To any man prancing around desperately looking for a woman to lead you, I pity your weakness, and pray you are successful in your quest. I can only imagine your fate if you are forced to tend to yourself.
Author: Guest 2015-04-04 23:51:40    [reply]
hey there all. I have recently changed the dynamic of my relationship with my wife. The changes are coming on really fast because she has a mentor. She has taken control of all 5 groups. The one thing that I have trouble getting used to is that her "guide" to this FLR stuff says that I must ask for leadership every morning when I bring her coffee, and also I am not allowed to sit next to her on the couch. She has me sit facing her on the floor next to the couch. its supposed to created a psychological influence to put a brand of where my place is. is it normal for FLR wives to make their submate sit on the floor next to them? - edited by staff [reason: FLR wives do not have subs they have mates]
Author: Kevwards 2015-11-09 04:27:12    [reply]
I intend to start a daily meditation regimine during which time I will envision myself as a perfect FLR candidate. One who anticiipates my mates needs by watching and listening for clues to her needs. I will also practice on a daily basis being a gentleman to all women I encounter. I feel like I should be respectful to ALL women ALL the time which will allow me to view each encounter through an FLR mans eyes and to make corrections to my attitudes and behaviors to counteract the socialization that society has imposed on males. I have already stopped viewing internet porn as I agree that it reinforces the negative subservient image of women that porn propagates. Focusing on my mates goals and dreams will strengthen our relationship and embelish our connection and establish a bond that will make us both happy. Anything a man can do to strengthen his connection with his mate benefits them both. Developing a well thought out plan to show love support and care for my mate will make each of us aware of the things we can depend on our mate to do. Well-defined roles and responsibilities will make us both confident and committed.
Author: Atyourservice_2 2016-08-06 00:28:29    [reply]


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