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We have been asked this question dozens of times. Trust is an issue. But true surrender would be better served if you work your way toward trust. If you dont have it dont go there.
Author: 2011-06-23 16:56:46 [reply]
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I am in a long time relationship with a Alpa female where years of discussion and behavioral changes for me occured. We share household chores because she wants to do some things herself, the others she assigned to me. It wasn't until she confiscated the check books and credit cards that my attitude trastically changed. Where I used to "negotiate" some and occassionaly lose my temper, even though I always appologized later, I now avoid doing such things. She has proven to be an excellent manager of both the finances and myself. She has the credit cards and check books in her safe. There is a key in an sealed envelope for my emergency use, but I no longer have a clue about how she spends. I trust her without question. We have not had an arguement since took 100% control. She gives me cash or a credit card when I make a reasonable request or to keep her gas tank full, but it is surrendered along with receipts immediately after use. I am more at peace now than ever.
Author: 2012-05-03 09:21:25 [reply]
While I see the logic of baby steps to build trust on the road to complete surrender of financial control, in practice my trust in my wife happened very fast soon after we met. The biggest barrier to surrendering control of finances is the complexity of putting my disorganised affairs in order, and of making a transfer across national boundaries. I need to get on with this.
Author: 2012-07-30 18:46:25 [reply]
For me I want my husbands advice and the advice of as many wise counselors as I can get; though I control our family finances, I want to do it as best I can. - edited by staff [reason: typo]
Author: 2012-10-17 08:59:58 [reply]
Guest Once we agreed I would take over all the finances it wasn't easy for him to change his mind about things after that. We both work fulltime, but all the accounts are in my name now and he direct deposits into my account. I also keep all of our credit cards. He had to swallow some pride asking me for money when he needs some.
Reply by: 2012-12-25 16:30:11 [reply]
It is amazing how people lose sight of the cardinal rule her. Any and all plans going forward require consent from both spouses. Since it is the male who is volunteering to permit his wife to take legal control of their combined wealth of the marriage one must ask, is this idea flying in the face of common sense. Any financial planner would tell you that split income for one income earner in a family are much better of to split the income for tax purposes and financial security. I know not very sexy or thrilling but extremely responsible. If a woman was to be the man in this case, women would be screaming that this woman has little or no self esteem. Without being in a WLM, I have always been the only bread winner and for the beginning 31 years ago, we open a pension plan in my wife's name to split our income once I retire. Furthermore, without knowledge of this FLM concept we have always had joint accounts, both names on our home and all assets. I always believed that is what marriage is all about.
Author: 2016-01-12 17:18:40 [reply]
I always let my wife make the important financial decisions like buying or refinancing, even I make more than her.
Author: 2017-07-31 15:18:36 [reply]