Discuss the laws of attraction

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What Experts Say

Okay, here is some food for thought. Many men coming to the idea of FLR want to become that submissive slavish guy, naked and bowing to his powerful woman, subservient. But how attractive will you be to her when you are no longer looking, acting or thinking like you did when she was attractive to you the first time? And secondly when you both practice aggressive beatings, when she is towing you around by the ear with a red bottom and you are "perfectly obedient" what impact will that have on her attraction to you? Think it over - consider the mental image she will see and reply.
Author: Prickly Pear 2011-08-03 12:12:47   
Two thoughts come to mind as I read this intro. First, looking for a lady in an FLR context is a lot like looking for a lady in a vanilla[traditional] context. We put our best foot forward when we are looking and courting and relax and become not so attractive when we have found her. Whether vanilla[traditional] or FLR, we should strive to keep our best foot forward at all times. FLR however, presents some unique issues in that men desire to submit and be in a subservient role to the woman they are with. I suppose the real question here is: While she sees her man as her "slave", can she still respect him? I think the answer to that is yes -- provided the man is NOT a doormat. I think a FLR woman still wants her man to be emotionally strong and she wants him to be her protector, etc. I think a FLR man can be all of the above. - edited by staff [reason: fetish jargon BTW how can a man be a slave without being a doormat?]
Reply by: Cosearcher 2012-02-22 01:04:58    
Prickly Pear I admit I answer this question from the perspective of someone new to the idea of FLR. However, the question gets at something that tracks my individual growth and education. As I began to explore this world, I first explored a lot in the area of "Femdom." Much of that seemed focused on the male as the slavish guy. That played well to fantasy; however, didn't really fit into what was practical, or something I would actually enjoy. The idea of FLR, as I learn more about it, seems much more realistic and much more fulfilling to both. By turning societal norms around, FLR gets more to what I actually think - that women are better equipped mentally to actually be the one in charge of making decisions. However, I like what I initially read here, which says that the man does not forfeit his rights to contribute to the relationship in a meaningful and stimulating way. In the end, I think this will lead to a relationship that is more fulfilling for both than the "slavish" relationship that so many fantasize about. For, in the end, I think all that is to most is fantasy. Just my two cents.
Reply by: Heretoserve 2012-04-01 05:06:44    
Prickly Pear What's attractive for her in being asked to humour his fantasy like that? Nothing much. You have to start being trying to understand what she wants, and to offer that to her. She probably wants to know how you are good for her in a practical way, and for you to be interested in what interests her, and for you to talk honestly to her in a real way not a fantasy way about your feelings and your desire to offer her support and make her feel good about herself as a woman in charge. Offer her your naked heart, not your naked body. That's real vulnerability.
Reply by: Karim56 2012-07-23 17:57:47    
Prickly Pear I think the answer depends upon each person. I appreciate my wife and I trust my wife's leadership to not to make me into something that she will not respect. Some people enjoy the play. Any Femdom aspect to our relationship mostly comes under play and we realize it is only temporary. But I have to admit that even the play impacts my submissiveness on a daily basis.
Reply by: Kc1968 2012-08-13 15:21:20    
Prickly Pear Seems to me that FLR Women are WOMEN first and FLR women second. They've millions of years of evolutionary response built into their perceptions of male attractiveness (physical strength and proportioning, assertiveness and other characteristics of desirable mates). Plus they have socialized perceptions for things like grooming and dress that also indicate mate suitability. Anecdotally, I've seen literally hundreds of FLR / femdom women's profiles where they state they are seeking Masculine men who are willing submit, primarily to them. So, clearly it's important to be both Masculine, and able to submit, if you want to be attractive to FLR ladies. Your point about not being too "kinky" goes to the heart of the matter as most femdom kink isn't aligned with Masculine traits that women desire. So, over time men who are overly enamored with that level of kink are bound to turn off their mates, if they can't bound their kink within some structure that an FLR woman can support. That said, it also seems to me that FLR women have some needs or desires to control men and understand that exploiting men's needs for kink is a way to apply control while getting benefits. It appears that they'd just like to do kink their way, with a man they want to be with. Figuring out what that combination is for the FLR woman is the man's challenge.
Reply by: SteveM999 2014-02-26 07:18:30    
Prickly Pear She might not find me attractive
Reply by: Gunther 2014-09-03 12:33:25    
Prickly Pear I think I will remain attractive by applying the principles and the theories supported by documented causation that implicate the superior balance and stability of a healthy Female Led Relationship. By maintaining Respect, Service, Listening skills and Obedience love I feel as though I will maintain my attractiveness through her eyes. If that fails I of course will be monitoring her words and be eager to listen and learn to ensure continuity of a successful FLR. Thank you for the Question! As for the second Question I think that I will remain attracted to her because Discipline
Reply by: Mid20sman 2017-11-08 11:18:04    
Prickly Pear A woman seeking a male for FLR naturally has several options She wants coming to her. I would think She first of all will want a man who ia mentally prepared to go into a FLR. Next She would look at his capabilities in his proffesional life and his social behaviour. And of course some women might also look after his physical status.
Reply by: Serv_joe 2018-01-19 05:31:57    

What our MAG members say

character includes body stature, honesty, loyalty, dependability, sincerity. and of course so kink in the bedroom.
Author: Dudley 2018-04-15 14:18:20   
The laws of attraction in its first instance is more than likely somewhat less cerebral and more instinctive. This could be physical looks and/or being impressed by someone's actions and behaviours. Continued attraction requires there to be a level of common interest that a couple can share. This common interest could be anything and more than likely requires a common ambition and outlook on life. Common interest can develop over time as you develop as a couple and find things you enjoy doing with one another.
Author: Stomuk 2018-03-26 16:32:05   
I believe that by being real and showing your best qualities are the best method. I think that people are attracted to what they like. FLR men are attracted to strong woman that they know are good leaders. Woman are attracted to the most desirable qualities of men. Most are behaviour and attitude. Men that express these qualities and lifestyle choices are more apt to attract a Flr female.
Author: John1974 2018-03-20 18:24:48   
For attraction to occur, their has to be a suitable biological / behavioural attraction between peeople. This is sexual, and likely influenced through evolution. However this cannot proceed to anything significant without a commonality (cultural / age, etc) between the people. Finally neither of these is sufficient. Common lifestyle to allow a relationship to flourish is a prerequisite for anything significant.
Author: Wayland 2018-03-13 19:22:26   
We are attracted to physical characteristics. We are also driven by social and material needs, economic factors. You are also influenced by potential skills as a parent.
Author: Buzzeasy1977 2018-03-06 08:28:28   
In my personal experience, attraction is based somewhat on external beauty, but mostly confidence, and trust.
Author: SamIAm 2018-01-12 08:56:25   
As in any relationship the "dance of attraction" in FLR has many stages and characteristics. But here there is I think a little more of the male opening himself up and exposing his inner. Not only is the male required to display his strengths but also his vulnerabilities. This is not necessarily an easy thing for a male to do in a tasteful way. It is a wonderful challenge for a man and is one more thing about an FLR that makes him a better and stronger man. There is strength and conviction in participating in an FLR.
Author: Simmer51 2017-12-31 01:48:43   
The practicality side of attraction has to do with the practical questions women have about men. They want to answer the practical questions. Is he available? Will he make a good mate? Is he a jerk? Is he fun? All people either consciously or unconsciously ask these kinds of questions and your presenting yourself in the best light helps answer them. Commonality is what you have in common besides FLR. The best you can do is find common ground and present yourself in the best light. After that it is all chemistry and that is up to you both.
Author: Mark J 2017-12-02 23:50:36   
Mark J The answer to these and other practical questions is the beginning of the attraction dance. This gets you past the first hurdles but you mentioned chemistry in the closing of your comment and it is probably the most important aspect of attraction. Sometimes chemistry is a physical thing, sometimes it's a spiritual thing and sometimes it is an emotional thing. This actually makes for the exciting part of attracting someone, you just never know what will be the thing that creates the chemistry between two people.
Reply by: Simmer51 2017-12-31 01:24:01   
The laws of attraction for a FLR are based on mutual respect and understanding and the exchange of power. This must be explicitly understood in FLR by the male to willingly give up this power to the Female for the ultimate betterment of the relationship.
Author: Dvbvalpha123 2017-11-29 15:40:20   
Dvbvalpha123 This goes without saying that mutual respect and understanding and the exchange of power are paramount in the "law of attraction" in an FLR. These are conscious choices which may seem a little clinical. An essential understand of FLR has to be present but there is still that unspoken aspect of chemistry. The conscious part of the question is relatively obvious if both parties are being honest but the aspect of chemistry beyond that is essential. Defining chemistry is a rather elusive task because it means so many different things to so many people. But at the base your points are undeniable.
Reply by: Simmer51 2017-12-31 01:34:07   
If you are aware of the law of attraction via Esther Hicks you will know the draw will pull like-minded people to you over time. Look at it this way as close as in the last century it was socially acceptable; for husbands to beat their wives and tell them what to do. This has been a norm for centuries - and in some countries still is - so why can't society turn it round and have husbands obey wives just as all the PC issues are being respected.
Author: Curtis3000 2017-11-09 13:13:33   
Someone who brings out the best in me, appreciates me for who i am. Yes there is physical attraction too but attitude and strength are more important.
Author: Pj1976bj 2017-11-05 22:30:54   
Pj1976bj I think this is coming closer to the heart of the matter. But it is after the consideration of the power exchange etc ---
Reply by: Simmer51 2017-12-31 01:36:20   
We don't know why we are attracted to certain people. We just are. Submissive men and dominant women are made for each other and need each other to express themselves.
Author: Panchafinder5 2017-11-04 00:13:34   
Basically, the Law of Attraction is determined by two factors, understanding and target .... We are attracted from who understands us and also the Woman... and for understand a Woman , the men must first listen the Woman...and to listen to a woman the man must silence inside and out, to silence all the masculine arguments, which are infinite....silence with the mouth, with the thought and silence of male desires...for realize the desires of the Woman and this is the second determining factor of attraction ... to have the same goal:target. And for a submissive man the common goal, must be the target chosen by His Alpha Woman.
Author: Ravanello 2017-11-02 18:19:33   
I think laws of attraction are very important having things in common is always an important thing first and foremost is attraction because that’s the spark for both parties in the relationship chemistry is so important because how will I compliment my mate she will be the main ingredient and I will be secondary I think this is a very practical arrangement because there is no longer a question who has the authority
Author: Igor2learn 2017-10-23 14:32:46   
I law of action is the combination of chemistry. But we must think of the top action as a mom I practiced to the community and our Waze because we know about Peter Pan piper Peter
Author: James 2017-09-21 18:12:16   
I believe chemistry may be based on physiological arousal. Practicality increases with living/working nearby and/or frequency of contact/exposure. Commonality may be based on similarity of attitudes and values, and/or involvement in the same groups.
Author: David Jeeves 2017-09-14 21:10:30   
I think it takes a certain kind of woman to lead an FLR in practice, esp. If there's kink or bdsm involved. She most likely has to have a naturally dominant side to her personality that gives her a desire to control other people. She would gain the satisfaction of seeing how in control she is and of realizing that she's connecting on a deep emotional level with you.
Author: SeekingFLR17 2017-08-30 23:21:42   
When a woman looks at you in certain way you know she owns you. She will know. Hopefully I will too. That is up to Her.
Author: Kenny2fun 2017-08-10 22:52:29   
The three laws of attraction indicate the complexity of the human psyche. A man will want to experience the power of a woman's femininity, she will want integrity and honesty as well. In order to achieve compatability into a FLR relationship both parties will have to truly understand each other through conversation and observation.
Author: Philipt 2017-08-06 12:01:21   
It all comes down to being yourself... completely! Both of you. You need to be attracted to each other's vanilla sides first... before any other lifestyle will ever work.
Author: Alwayswanted2 2017-08-05 16:01:16   

 

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