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My wife, of 30 years, is a powerful, intelligent and insightful person. She is amazing. She has always been the dominate one in our marriage. She has always been the bread winner. I had a good job (retired) but not as high profile as hers. But our marriage was pretty vanilla for a long time. About 15 years ago, I told her of my desire to be more submissive to her and for her to take full control. I explained the concept of a FLR to her and she seemed to be right with it. I started to do the cooking, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. She picked up a couple of the food groups, finance and life direction, but that was about it. I have talked with her many times over the years about increasing her control but she shuts it down almost immediately. Her fear is she will turn into her father. Her father was a narcist. He was very controlling and manipulative. So, things are almost the same for the last 15 years. She leads her food groups and I have mine. I try to take very good care of her but when things get to a point she views as unfair to me, she stops it. I do not feel fully submissive and she leads where and when she is unafraid. I am trying to draw out her more dominate characteristics without making her worry she has over stepped. I do not want to fool her into being dominate, she will see right through that. I would like to draw out her natural tendencies so she can embrace herself. Thanks,
j
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Originally, I had a sort of similar scenario where I was actually the dominant one. I know this wasn’t the case with you but we gradually drew out my gf’s dominant side. And she has a high profile job and earns a lot more than me. She was originally very cautious about not going too far but now she is fully dominant and has total control. It just takes a little time.
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