Changes to Private Messaging on AboutFLR + Verified Accounts

To fight spam we’re putting some limits on private messages and also introducing verified accounts. Let us know what you think in the comments!

Changes to Private Messaging on AboutFLR + Verified Accounts

The Problem

The #1 complaint we get here at AboutFLR is spam private messages. Despite banning and blocking dozens of offending accounts, spam has remained a constant problem. A spammer can make a new account and send out 50 identical messages in just minutes, by the time we notice and delete their account the damage has already been done.

Most of this spam has been coming from accounts using a VPN/proxy, claiming to be a female looking for a sub/slave male, mass messaging mostly males with a poorly written form letter that is barely English insisting that you contact them offsite. When contacted they invariably demand you send them money, either as a training fee or something else. It shouldn’t even need to be said, but you should never send money to random strangers on the internet. Especially someone you are trying to start a relationship with. Real relationships don’t start with Venmo. If you’re looking for a pro-domme there are other sites for that, that’s not what AboutFLR is for.

New Messaging Limits

Starting today unverified accounts will be limited to starting 1 new conversation every 24 hours. This limit only applies when you message someone you haven’t messaged before and who has never messaged you. You can reply to messages with no limit. You can message back and forth with someone with no limit. You can even start a new message thread with someone you have had contact with before. The only limit is on contacting someone who you have not had contact with.

Verified Accounts

Many online communities offer the option to verify your account and we’re working on a system to verify users on AboutFLR. Verifying your account shows you are who you say you are.

Benefits of a Verified Account

  • Higher messaging limit of 5 new conversations every 24 hours (too low?)
  • Verified badge next to your name throughout the site
  • If you have suggestions for other perks please comment below!

Getting Verified

We’re still deciding on which verification method(s) to use. Other online communities require a photo of your ID, a selfie, a video, or some combination. Right now we’re leaning towards having users record a video of themselves saying their username, but we’d love to have your feedback before we decide so please let us know what you think in the comments.

Verification for our female users will be free and verification for male users will be a $50 one time fee. Verification will always be 100% optional. If you’d like to get verified manually before we get the system online please contact the admin or email here:

Again, we’re still working on all this so things can change. Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

This Post Has 14 Comments

  1. Maid Stephanie

    Love the idea of verification. Recognize many of us want to maintain an anonymity for reasons such as professional discretion and extended family awareness.
    For these reasons a confidential ID verification would suffice and not a public video.
    I strongly you do this in a way that reduces barriers to verification. Discrimination against men by charging them a fee is a deal breaker for me. I’m submissive, not stupid or a pay pig. This is an unnecessary barrier to verification.
    I’m happy to support the site with donations but this idea feels wrong on so many levels. Please rethink it.
    Maid Stephanie.

    1. Admin

      Verification will always be 100% confidential and not public. Verification photos/videos will be deleted from the server once the verification will be done. It’s 100% optional and I consider it a donation towards the site. We’re currently running AboutFLR at a loss with zero revenue. Thanks for your input.

  2. roger

    Verification is a great idea but 50 dollars for becoming verified? You should incentivate the verification of your users, not make profit from it!! Also I think it would be much easier a picture with a paper with username instead of a video.

    1. Maid Stephanie

      Agreed about the cost. Bad idea. Goes against getting people (men) to verify.
      I do think the verification process should be private for admin only regardless of how it is done.

  3. --seniorboy

    How about paid verification for Female members only? That’s where the scamming is coming from. Speaking of which, littleMAM is one of those, “financial domination,” hardyharhar! Male subs be warned and stay away.

    1. Admin

      Yes, most of the scam/spam is coming from our female members unfortunately and is the main reason for the verification system. That’s why female members can verify for free, because we want to encourage our female members to verify. We may start forcing questionable female members to verify in the near future.

  4. Slave-husband

    So far, the messaging limits really seems to work. Haven’t had a spam email yet

    1. Admin

      Yes we have seen much less spam/scam messages since starting this new system! Still working the bugs out but we’re making progress!

  5. Robi82

    I completely agree about the verification of accounts. I suggest options such as taking a picture of the identity document and another picture where you can see a person with a face holding an identity document in his hand. This method of verification is carried out on many portals.

    1. henpecked

      I would never ever sign up for anything that required this. I want my privacy.

  6. Gogetter

    Completely agree with migrating to verified accounts here. Genuine users will be immensely benefitted by such a move and provides a safe forum for us.

  7. Tempest

    I’m happy to verify, I am verified on another popular kink site as well, but wanted to see what that process was here with verification. I am actively seeking something long term and meaningful/organic.. hoping to hear back from the admin team soon. 😊

  8. Jassy

    I think verification is 100% a great idea – and the spammers shouldn’t have an option to send messages once they’ve been identified.

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