There are a lot of valid complaints here, and I empathize with the pain and frustration I’m hearing so clearly. I was ‘looking’ for a long time, and it was a soul-crushing experience. Eventually, though, I realized that — the legions of scammers aside — people hiding behind anonymity can be worse than just unkind. They often let their baser instincts run riot, doing and saying things that they would never consider if their real-world identity was attached. This is not gender or role based. It’s not restricted to role-specific dating or dating at all… it’s people being people. Mistress VIP’s experience with the sissy from Atlanta is an excellent example of this. When you’re anonymous, being a jerk is “free” while being empathetic, kind, and considerate takes restraint, thought, and consideration.
This is why I moved away from unpaid and unmoderated sites: they are simply scam-enablement engines and breeding grounds for learning bad behavior. It’s structural, not personal. Yes, there can be very, very good people hidden in the wasteland of lies and terrible behavior, but the effort to find, vet, and connect is so high that it’s far “cheaper” just to find other resources. It’s simply not worth developing anger and resentment over people who should have no impact on our lives or feelings or outlook at all. That just gives them power. Why would anyone with agency invest in this once they understand it?
If we value honesty and integrity, then we should not give time and attention to those who do not. Everyone here understands the problem with “free” dating sites, and are justifiably angry at the results such sites bring. So change your approach. Learn what works. Go where the good people are and stop feeding scammers and anonymous trolls. Complaints won’t change the structure of free and anonymous resources, nor will they change human nature. Don’t let the jerks drive the tonal quality of your world. In fact, piss them off by being happy and successful.
QL