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Subby hubby

I’m having the same issue in reverse I’ve met at least 15 in the last year. It’s frustrating and depressing, I’m starting to think something is wrong with me. Why can’t I find what I am looking for I’m extremely submissive and obedient. I even told a few to break me down and build me up into what you want me be. And yes I even sent money to a couple of them. I want to give up but I can’t she’s out there she just has to come save me