Thank you for this detailed and very mature comment. I completely agree with you.
You hit the nail on the head regarding the difference between fantasy and reality. Yes, a successful, self-sufficient woman can be attractive—partly due to her strength and status. But that does not mean she is ready or obligated to support someone financially, especially in the early stages of an acquaintance.
And you know what makes this situation particularly absurd? When such “offers” come from a man of advanced retirement age, often decades older than the woman he is addressing. All while he claims the role of a “toyboy”. I’m sorry, but what “boy” is there at 70+? What “toy” are we talking about when the reality involves potential health issues, limited mobility, and a very modest pension? This isn’t “service”—it’s an attempt to find a caregiver, a roof over one’s head, and a wallet, all under the guise of a fetish.
Your point about a grown man being responsible for himself first and foremost is especially valuable. “Not being a financial burden” is truly the baseline; it’s a sign of maturity and respect. Attempting to shift one’s housing and domestic problems onto a dominant partner under the pretext of service is, unfortunately, not FLR (Female Led Relationship)—it’s just a search for free housing and nursing care.
Thank you for speaking honestly about this. Men like you, who have a realistic outlook on things, are harder to find, but it is exactly with men like you that truly healthy and harmonious relationships are possible.
With respect and appreciation for your position.