49M BC Canada seeking loving supportive woman – relationship first, bdsm second

[houseboyseeksdomme]

I want to put this at the top, I am here seeking something real and long term, not some quick hookup. A real, loving, supportive, committed relationship that is more than just BDSM. I want to get to know you as a woman first, not as a Domme.

Ideally I am seeking a great mix of a loving partner and BDSM. I want to enjoy each others company, talk about our day, politics, or any interesting subjects, go for walks, romantic dinners, travel, etc.

My ideal partner is loving, educated, successful, ambitious, loves to laugh, sensual, supportive, kind and caring, smart and happy. Her life is beautiful, she has a successful career, owns her house or is making significant strides towards it and is without anger/bitterness because that describes my life. Also know I am very supportive and expect that in return, after all that is what a loving relationship is based on.

I’ve also done some thinking and reflection recently and I know bdsm must be part of my life, it’s part of who I am. No, that doesn’t mean I want to be a dark dungeon 24/7 slave, there is reality with bills to pay, food to buy, etc.

I have been in the lifestyle for some 30 years and over that time i have come to realize the most important things in the lifestyle are trust and the knowledge that ultimately both sides must be happy deep down if this relationship is to blossom. Ultimately on the relationship side we are equals, no one is going to submit 24/7/365 that is simply pure fantasy and it took me a long time to realize that. If you want a 24/7/365 slave, maybe go down to the local slave auctions which I say to show as an example of complete fantasy.

I have a wide variety of interests in the lifestyle, but I don’t think its fair to give a laundry list of fetishes and fantasies, lets leave that for down the road. For the most part I am pretty diversified in my experiences.

I read these words recently and thought they summarized submission well in a simple sentence “True submission requires trust, honesty, communication and patience”.

I am seeking a solid relationship first and foremost, there is no way this will last long term if we solely focus on BDSM. I want a loving and supportive partner. I want romance, I want to travel and enjoy life together. I have found if you solely focus on BDSM compatibility things quickly fall apart, I mean what are we suppose to talk about outside of BDSM? I am seeking a partner in life, one that supports them in good times and bad. Someone who I can introduce to my family and friends. Short answer: BDSM is important, but its not as important as the woman behind the BDSM role. I would hope being a Domme does not define you as a person 24/7 because I am certainly not in role 24/7. I am not desperate to find a date here, I am happy to date in the vanilla world just as I am sure you are as well.

In regards to long distance, before we go down that road I would like to know early on what the plan is as we go forward. I am self employed and can work remote, but I have realized thru past experience that being away for extended periods takes a lot of work, nor can travel be all one sided. Its an equal effort to make a real relationship work.

Sincere replies only, no findoms or sugar babies. Relationship first, BDSM second. Also I am not going to buy your flights, pay for everything or be ordered to buy you gifts (with that said I do buy gifts out of love or admiration not because I am ordered to). Please also no women who are self centered and/or narcissists, its fine to play that in scenes, but I have zero desire for that in daily life, its not realistic for a long term relationship.

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