Well, in the first place, you completely misundersand what it is that I seek. I’m a submissive, and not a masochist, therefore I have no interest in having a woman wear leather pants and whip me. Perhaps we are more accustomed in life to meeting people who are *both* submissive, and masochistic, but in fact, they are two different things.
When I use the term “Vanilla FLR” I really shouldn’t even have to use the term “Vanilla”. In fact, there is another term which accurately describes the kind of relationship I seek. That phrase is “Female Led Relationship”. If you’ve learned anything about it from reading this website, then you’d know that it does not have to involve kink at any level. It simply means that the woman is the leader in the relationship or the head of the household. That’s it. Unfortunately for people like me who are simply interested in pursuing a Female Led Relationship, it has become conflated with kink… but… it is not kink. There are billions of relationships in the world which follow this pattern, and some formally recognize that that’s what they are doing, while others don’t. It’s possible that they may even outnumber male-dominated or “equal” relationships, at least in many places.
I am not anti-kink… I’m just not that interested in it. I am simply interested in serving the person I love, and being led or guided by them on how best to serve.
There are also some activities which I also know are simply not for me, such as anything involving pain or humiliation of either party. It’s no different than how I know I would not be compatible with someone who holds right-wing political views, or someone who is a religious fundamentalist. It’s OK for someone else, but they simply aren’t compatible with me. I can be friends with people like this, but I am not going to be romantically involved with them.
Everyone gets to choose what they want, and don’t want. That’s called boundaries. Knowing our boundaries and respecting them – and asking others to do the same, is the basis for any healthy relationship. If those boundaries are not respected, and one party or the other does something without the full consent of the other party, then that’s called abuse.
What I’m saying is that within a relationship, even though kink is not really what I’m interested in, I’d still be willing to engage in whatever kink a woman wants, as long as it doesn’t involve serious pain or emotional / verbal humiliation. This could involve her dominating me, or me dominating her… but these are my limits, and they are never going to change.
In fact, I have met many women in real life, and one or two on here, who like the idea of the very same kind of relationship I’m talking about, or are already in one. I believe that this website can be a place for people who are interested in kink… that’s fine… but primarily it’s about FLR, and not femdom or kink.