It seems to me that somehow You need to elevate Your self esteem, especially if Your goal is to be the leader in Your relationship.
Have You thought about wearing attractive outfits? I don’t mean slutty provocative things, but tasteful, subtly sexy clothes like short skirts, nylons and high heels…and with the appropriate foundation garments to maximize your body. I’ve probably upset a lot of feminists by saying that, but lots of males respond to those kind of signals.