I think it depends on the level of your relationship. I’ve learned everyone is a little different on this. For us my wife’s pleasure makes it a much needed component for us. My wife was a swinger before we met so she was already into that. It opens up more ways to keep her feeling maxed out with sexual release and energy. For us my wife needs me involved so it’s not like it’s done away from me. One thing is for certain, it’s alot of fun 🤩