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  • #9585
    Jack
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    I have been married for 10 years. I asked my wife for an FLR 2 years ago. She was not sure what to think of my request in the beginning and things have slowly evolved over 2 years. Always 2 steps forward and 1 step back. My wife is naturally bossy. I knew this before we were married. She has always tried to get me to obey her wishes and wanted to control the finances. I always resisted and that led to many serious arguments. My initial goal of the FLR was to get more kink in our marriage in exchange for me obeying my wife. This was to be accomplished with orgasm control (I was reading all the FLR kink websites and this idea really turned me on). It’s something I pushed but my wife doesn’t really care about orgasm control. It took some time for me to forget about my kinks and focus on what my dominant wife really needed from me. What she needed most is for me to be patient with her, listen to her, and let her have the final say when we have disagreements. That’s what I try to do now everyday and our relationship has improved greatly. In many ways submitting to my wife still feels kinky to me. I can’t separate it from my sexually submissive identity. I practice orgasm control on my own and will ask my wife to watch or participate in me getting off when I really need to (either with my hand or a hand held vibrator she holds). The only sex my wife wants is to receive cunnilingus and anilingus and I love that. But she does not want oral sex often. I am lucky if I can lick her once a week. Before the FLR we would have intercourse but now after talking about it we both confessed that neither of us really care for intercourse. She does not give me oral sex – never has and never will.

    My wife has grown more assertive as time goes by. This was only possible because I have made a real effort to to be patient with her, listen to her, and let her have the final say when we have disagreements. She now leaves all the housecleaning, cleaning dishes, and laundry for me to do. She is not shy to tell me to do something. The final step for me – something I resisted – was to hand over the finances to her. Most all our savings are now in her name only. We went to the bank together and I signed the money over to her to show my seriousness about our FLR. I trust her. She likes to feel in control and feels more secure with everything now.

    That’s my ongoing story. Hope to have good discussions on this website

    Jack

    • This topic was modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago by Jack.
    #9718
    greg
    Participant

    I think it’s dangerous if you let her control all your finances though. Real world favors women — law courts and men spending more time in jail for things. What if you wanted to play lotto and you won a million dollars and you broke up with her and she took all the money!? If she leaves you, you are going to be a broken man and homeless! I think we should advise against extremism for FLR. It should be fun and happy, not soul destroying.

    When I read that, I realize that things are unfair for men in the real world (Western countries.) Regardless of FLR or not, there should be more fairness socially and legally.

    As much as I despise Jeff Bezos and think he’s so rich it’s criminal, it’s astronomical, his ex wife shouldn’t have taken billions of dollars from him. He earned it. Everyone knows him, not her. Who needs to rob banks if you’re a woman with Western legal systems!? I thought life was about “hard work” or “how much you put in?”

    At the end of the day, you’re still a person. A man, a submissive man. It doesn’t matter. We live in a material world and we’re only here for a certain period of time.

    #9768
    Jack
    Participant

    Greg,

    I wanted the FLR. If I kept all the money in my account then she is not really in charge. I volunteered to put most of the money in her account to show I was serious about giving her real power in the marriage and not just doing it because it played to my kinks (which it does). The house is still in both are names. It’s paid for and cannot be sold without my signature. I still have 50K to run my business. I can easily save another 50K in a year or two. My wife feels more secure and in charge in our marriage because she now has a large bank account that she controls. I don’t worry about money so much. The important thing is I have no debt and have a good business with a good income. I don’t think we will ever divorce but if my wife divorces me and takes most everything then so be it. That does not scare me. I’ll be fine and she will be fine. I want her to have a good life whether we are together or not.

    #14942
    edentaylor
    Participant

    Jack, I think if you think so, everything will really be fine. Good luck!

    #14954
    Grace87
    Participant

    Jack, you have a very good position in life!

    #14960
    carolinesimps
    Participant

    Jack, you have accepted a very adult and wise decision! Keep it up!

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