Liv: Take your time to ease into it a little at a time. If you man truly wishes to be led he will be patient. In fact, it's his duty to be patient with your process. I'd also recommend reading books, websites, and any information on the topic, but to keep in mind it is just information. The actual dynamics of the relationship are up to you. Also, understand that being in the lead requires a woman to truly step into her power and take responsibility for two. The man in a FLR is not just a plaything he is a person. His well-being, growth and development are coupled with your own -- it's a big job, but satisfying. I would ask all women to consider whether they're up to the challenge. If they are the rewards are incredible. -- an interview with Liv and Gorden by Lyric Kali
Tia: I think that the main thing is take some time to know who you are and what you truly want. You may have to face the fact that your man may not be able or willing to make those changes. How badly do you want or need this type of lifestyle? Can he approach it with a friendly and playful attitude? Would he be willing to try it on a trial basis for a while? If you have a good relationship and have always been honest about things, then the spontaneity may be a surprising and exciting time for both of you. -- an interview with Tia and John by Melody Bussey
Most women want their men strong. It gives them a sense of security, protection and normalcy. You are going to be the one leading so feel free to protect any area you feel a need to. Exercise your leadership in these trials to get a feel for how he responds.
Mainly what you are looking for is the answer to, are you interested in changing your currently life to form a female led relationships? There are some key points that will make success more promising or failure more evident.
Some people rush in and some take their time. Most women I know want to check him out such as employees are routinely on probation for 90 days. Test runs are everywhere because we want to know what we are getting into. In engineering we make prototypes. This lets people see a product before it is fully developed. Seeing it and experiencing it helps the people decide what to change before it is released. Get the idea?
If he wants to change your relationship let him prove it. Tell him he is on trial and only his best effort will do. That works to the success of the experiment and plays to his fantasy. Even when he is impressing, you need to participate. We suggest you emulate a high level of interest to stimulate him. Do as much (have him do as much) in a small amount of time as you can.
I have never faced this but if I did I would keep it from the kids as I would anything that is inappropriate for their age level. Part of the test is to see how it works for you, him and you as a couple before involving those close to you (unless we are talking about a close girlfriend, mentor or willing helper). Keeping secrets is not easy sometimes. Most of us have people we can talk to and get help from. He wants you to become the leader which means leading the whole family. You have kids so plan accordingly. You may need to keep the nakedness to a minimum, have him serve you behind closed doors and make other adjustments.
You are not going to make any permanent changes in one night but you can gain an experience. If you eat out in nice places for a while you come to see that the food is usually comparable but the experience makes all the difference. Set up 4, one night tests. Make them convenient for you and make them close together so you can experience his continued interest. Here are some things to consider.
If you enjoyed the one night experiences then plan for an extended test. We recommend weekends especially when he can feel free to focus on you. Send the kids to mom, take a weekend vacation, stay in from usual activities and set it up so he has the freedom to prove himself for more than one night. You will get more of a feel for the overall day to day experience of a new kind of relationship. Here is an idea, run a 4 night trial followed a week later by a weekend. Repeat this until you are sure proceeding is the best course of action. As you gain confidence add in the development of your relationship strategy and FLR agreement. You will get a good feel for where this is going.
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|Women were asked|
|Were you ever in an FLR?|
36% of women said they had been in an FLR leaving 64% who have no real experience. Even those who have experience could use more practice especially with a new man.
|Men were asked|
|I have experienced FLR ?|
31% of men said they have real experience at FLR. 30% said they had engaged in play and 39% of men report not having any real experience.
Take the polls for yourself - contribute to our knowledge of how women feel about female led relationships [click here]
|Cross Reference - Additional Resources|