A Woman’s Guide to Training a Man in Her Female Led Relationship

A Woman’s Guide to Training a Man in Her Female Led Relationship

Training your man to adapt to your female led relationship

     In order to train you will need to establish the things you want him to learn. You can get some from your list of relationship ideals such as fidelity and intimacy or some from your life direction goals and his cry for help. If you have not yet read “A woman’s guide to motivating a man in her Female Led Relationship” we recommend you do so. If you have no female led relationship agreement or relationship strategy you are not ready for training unless you just want to play.

     Generally what you want your man to learn in your female led relationship and what he wants to learn are very different. You want him to learn to overcome his bad habits, work independently, find fulfillment in growing, gain confidence in your leadership and participate as your supportive follower. He want to learn how to serve your body, obey your commands, please you sexually, humble himself and learn what it is like to surrender. Because of the difference and size of the task at hand you must choose your targets. In management 101, when faced with a large number of tasks you must prioritize them, take the top ten and do as many as you can. Delegate where you can and just maintain a list of the ones that don’t get done. There is, however, the added complication of keeping both of you motivated.

     In level 1-2 relationships you are not going to be doing much of any training, but in level 3-4, it will be expected. He wants you to do it. At the end of this article there are 3 additional articles for more advice on reshaping self-image, non-punishment correction, and alternatives to physical punishment.

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I feel weak about training him to do anything

     When faced with lots to do and a sense of weakness, think of delegation. When you delegate, you still have to supervise the one you delegated to and you cannot let it go on its own. What you delegated should have been on your “top ten” list and ranked as important. You can use technology, make him create the curriculums while you just reorganize it, or you can seek help from a friend or expert (consultant).

     Let’s say you decide your top ten list looks like the list below and your priorities are clear. You are in a level 3 relationship and have your agreement in place. Your agreement gives you full control of the 5 food groups and you agreed to moderate kink and some forms of punishment. Think of this as a first list as a leader. The day is Saturday and Friday night you completed your relationship agreement together. In the task list below you can see I have delegated many things and I am thinking about finding another women to help me with the initial phase where I am weak or don’t have time. The most important thing for today is to keep him motivated and least important (yet ultimately more important) is creating a map to our relationship closest to our measurable ideals. The lower 4 items are hardest to do so they will take time.

  1. Keep him motivated today
    • Tell him to go to the bank today and get some cash ($100) for his lunches and gas.
    • Today he will clean the garage and present his work for inspection.
    • Tonight I want the full pampering treatment.
    • Have him present me with a list of things from which I can choose.
    • Have him get naked and shower at 6 in preparation and dress in an apron.
    • Have him cook and serve a simple dinner, (salad and chicken).
    • For this entire week I want him once each day to kneel in front of me and ask me to be his leader.
  2. Set-up an early morning breakfast meeting for tomorrow with my man (Sunday). Discuss the following points in order:
    • Delegating ceremony – draft due in 2 days.
    • Getting financial accounts and documents, (due next Sunday).
    • Collect his credit cards and give him cash for the next week.
    • He will call me anytime he is going to spend more than $10 except for gasoline.
    • I will keep his cards until I create a budget and spending plan.
    • I am reaching out to see if I can find someone I can trust to help mentor and train.
    • Until I finish my plan I want him to ask me each night at 9 if I want pampering.
    • He will look into a chastity device and show me, (due next Sunday).
    • He will buy net nanny, (due next Sunday).
  3. Close out his bad habits – specifically internet porn and masturbation
  4. Create a ceremony where he formally acknowledges my leadership and symbolically hands control to me
    • I can clear this from my list easily by delegating
    • Delegate this to my man
    • Give him a verbal outline while we have breakfast
      • I want the ceremony to include him kneeling in front of me
      • Keep his cards until you create a budget and spending plan
    • Have him think about guests
    • Bring it to me for editing in 3 days
  5. Plan what I want from him on a daily basis
    • Make a plan for his short-term service of my body
    • Teach him how I want him to respond to me
    • Teach him what I want on a daily basis
    • Delegate chores/responsibilities to him and create a way I can know when they are done so I can check
    • Create a yahoo account to receive sensitive email about FLR
    • Run an ad on Craig’s list to see of any women could help train him
  6. Get control of the finances and plan a budget that will work
    • Meet with him over breakfast
    • He will bring me all financial documents he has
    • Teach him what I want on a daily basis
    • Delegate chores/responsibilities to him and create a way I can know when they are done so I can check
  7. Create and publish my agenda
  8. Get control of the 5 food groups
  9. Motivate my man to fulfill his lowest need(s) control and vulnerability
  10. Create a map to our relationship closest to our measurable ideals

Training your man by providing a positive learning experience

     A positive learning experience provides rewards for goals met, praise for active participation and goal achievement. If you want your man to do the laundry to your standard, joyfully invite him to see how you do it. Explain what you are thinking as you go and have him repeat what you did giving him only positive reinforcement for what he is doing right and showing him what he needs to relearn. The goal is to learn how to do the laundry. Once he does give him affection and praise.

Training your man by achievable learning goals and rewards

     Learning goals and rewards begin with your selecting what he is to learn. He will ask for a reward of his choosing (you can limit his choices by using a list). You will teach him and watch his progress. When he learns the task, he has met his goal and is to be commended. When he shows prolonged retention of that learning he gets the reward.

Training your man by coaching

     Coaches demonstrate the task or have it demonstrated then guide from the sidelines watching the learner and continuing to participate in their learning. Coaching as a style should be authoritative. The reward is getting the coaching and getting to participate.

Training your man with the dominant teacher approach

     Consider getting help from another woman or man who is more dominant than you. You play the good leader and she/he plays the strict disciplinarian. You will need to coach at the same time but the tag team approach gives the learner plenty of focus time on his fantasy and reinforces the woman’s leadership and superior role.

Training your man with the boot camp approach

     Boot camp is an intensive approach. It works best when there is more than one trainer or the trainer has a lot of time. The idea is to break down the learner, break them of their will, then instill new values in them. It is a form of programming used by the military and law enforcement. This might be the ultimate fantasy for him.

All training requires motivation and authority

     The trainer is always greater and over the trainee. She uses his fantasies and motivation to his advantage, which ultimately speeds up the learning curve.

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Gerry Brebner

    All very good information, but what about her bad habits? She’s human and she’ll have them too. Will she be able to “man up” and honestly say she may not be the best at handling money for example? Or will she just not say anything and head to the casino for a gambling spree? The latter is more likely – and on that one point the whole FLR plan falls apart. Partners need to be well aware of each other’s capabilities and the best person for handling each task. It still may end up with him doing household chores, but at least he is an equal partner instead of a slave. He doesn’t have to lose his self respect.

    Any man who has a fantasy about domination may not necessarily enjoy being dominated. He may want out when reality sets in. He’ll want out and with all the freedom she has – to come and go as she pleases, she won’t want to stop. Result: divorce or he continues without his consent just to keep her happy. The whole “FLR is about equal partners” or “in an FLR the man’s opinions matter, too”. Both of these are false. It’s more like: An FLR starts out where they are true, but with him chaste she uses his horniness to get him further and further into submission both statements become invalid. At this point in controlling him, there is nothing she cannot make him do. The “healthy” relationship becomes more an owner – slave relationship. Her power is all encompassing, she is domestically assaulting him. Who keeps her in check? Herself? Unlikely, how many men have told their battered wife “I’ll never hit you again.”. They always do and she lives in fear of his next beating. Battered men’s shelters will soon start appearing. Is this to be the bright shining future of a female led society? Or is it merely revenge for “because men did it to us”.

  2. Maam108

    Gerry B,
    In most productive societies/tribes men do not complain and struggle with his female dominant. Granted there are mistakes on both ends, the struggle you’re speaking of is derived from patriarchy. To each his/her own, using discernment is best. Whining is not productive or sincere.

    1. A man with a brain to think

      My dear, very interesting when it comes to your comments to Gerry B. To each his own, using discernment is best. Whining is not productive or sincere. I find your comments with questions in reference to your words, “Most productive societies/tribes men do not complain and struggle with his female dominant.” May I inquire with you as to a reference of evidence when one uses the terms most productive societies/tribe where men did not complain or struggle with female dominant. Why do I inquire with you, your comments seem to come from knowing some history and then I look to the naiton of the United States, I look and see a very productive nation in the history of the world, and I believe it was as we have heard, a male dominant society. So please do provide some data on my above questions.

      1. sparkyflr

        Using American history as an example. Not a great idea. Yes it was very productive and also built on the backs of forced free labor. So whose point are you trying to make? Because it sounds like your saying slavery works. I thought we joined this site because we want and crave this.

    2. Lou

      My mother warned me about such women as you.

  3. yardbird

    I am in a 30 year marriage that we now know has the name of FLR. My wife reined in my chaotic life from the beginning. She saved me from bankruptcy. I was a gambler, a drinker and a whoremonger. She willingly took on my debts and weaknesses when we married and immediately took over everything from money to household decisions to sex decisions (when where how) and I was ok with it. We discussed it before marriage. I had a good job but I was failing in many facets of life. I believe I still have a good career thanks to my FLR. Who knows? I may still be alive thanks to the leadership of the woman in my life.

  4. Midwesterner

    On many sites it seems predicated on the assumption that the male is hornier than the female. I think it is the other way around. Why do the sites all require the female to be sexually satisfied and the male gets nothing or worse? Or just maybe FLRs are all one big kink? I know I haven’t seen this kind of sex talk in partnership in models or male led relationship. I was asked to look up information by my girlfriend and I am reporting back the kink. We don’t need it!

  5. sparkyflr

    And? What if she is hornier than the male? It’s a Female Led Relationship. She gets what she want when she wants. How many times has a woman had intercourse and been left unsatisfied. For decades in male led relationship we thought the female orgasm was a myth. So we didn’t have to try very hard. I look forward in looking up and seeing a smile on her face.

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