You made an agreement, completed your trial runs – now what?
What comes now is to move from your current relationship to a female led one. That means you as his woman will take control, begin to manage and assert leadership. Just like taking over as a manager at work, you need to do the same things.
Create a memorable moment where he formally asks for and affirms your leadership
I call this the ‘surrender ceremony’. You need a moment where he formally recognizes you as his leader to mark the change in your relationship, like your wedding. His desire to surrender is real and your desire to lead is real, now recognize it formally. Exchange vows and have him symbolically surrender to you. You might symbolically take control from him. We suggest you design the ceremony and include other people if you want. If you have made relationships with others who are helping, you might include them. If you have agreed to have him to publicly acknowledge his FLR, then include your children so they know too. There is a tendency among men to think of this as a great moment for some really kinky things. You may enjoy that too as you wish.
Define the probationary period
During this time you will be committed to some extra work. You will be taking the reigns as leader and he will be surrendering control to you. Call it a probationary period where he and female-led-relationships are on probation. Perhaps 90 days is long enough for you both to settle into your new roles. During that time you both will need extra diligence to uphold the reasons you are doing this in the first place. Keeping motivation high is both of your responsibilities but especially his because he was likely the one who asked for it in the first place. Habits take time to form and lists/schedules help develop habits. You may want him to read the agreement you both made periodically or even to memorize it like a constitution. After all, you cannot protect and serve something you don’t remember. Keep your expectation for his change and change to your relationship, reasonable. You both may have a lot to learn. He certainly does have a lot to learn to meet your expectations and standards.
Training and feedback
Don’t overlook the importance of training during the period and giving feedback to him as well as from him. Make adjustments, fine tune, take a course correction. If he has asked for control, keep that part of what he wants high by his participating in his fantasy as a regular part of his day. You will both learn quickly that fantasies are just that, a fantasy. The more he participates in it the faster he will learn. Yet, there are parts of his fantasy that are good and will last.
Things you will need to accomplish
Before you start
- As your first act of leadership get full disclosure from him
- Create your relationship strategy together
- Create your relationship agreement
- Test the waters with trial runs
- Make whatever adjustments you feel necessary
- Get control of the finances if that is your charge
- Reduce his control of finances – start making him dependent on you for money
- Establish several simple rules he must follow no matter where he is
- Start your habit of keeping him motivated
- Get all the documentation you need to get control of the food groups you have charge of
- If you are controlling his free time have him keep a journal of what he does with it
- Set the tone for your level of authority and leadership style
- Finish writing your agenda – those things you want to do and change
- Get a budget formalized
- Hold your ceremony to mark the change
- You should have control over what he does on his computer at home and in the office
- He should have finished all the tests so you know how to motivate him
- You should have control of his credit cards
- If you have decided in level 3-4 you should have ordered him to do several things by now.
- Finish getting all the help you need
- Get is training started and in full swing
- He should have a very good memory of your agreement and prove it to you
- You should have as much control of sex as you want of you are in charge of that
- You should have a working budget formalized if you own finances
- He should be completely dependent on you for money if you own finances.
- He should be participating in the chores you have delegated and performing well
- He should be getting comfortable in your leadership
- You should have delegated all things to him he is going to do
- He should be supporting your leadership in a noticeable way
- You should be cranking down his kinky fantasy to more normalized and sustainable life habits
- Your life together should be improving measurably
- If you have agreed to public acknowledgement you should feel comfortable that others know about your agreement
- He should have finished his initial training and performed well
- You should have reviewed your relationship with him at least once and amended it
- You should both be satisfied that you have made substantial progress toward your FLR
- He should be completely dependent on you for any decisions he has surrendered
- His training will end
- If in level 3-4 you should mark this day with a celebration
- Crank his kink down to a normal sustainable level
- Begin a normalized period and enjoy your new roles