You made an agreement, completed your trial runs – now what?

     What comes now is to move from your current relationship to a female led one. That means you as his woman will take control, begin to manage and assert leadership. Just like taking over as a manager at work, you need to do the same things.

Create a memorable moment where he formally asks for and affirms your leadership

     I call this the ‘surrender ceremony’. You need a moment where he formally recognizes you as his leader to mark the change in your relationship, like your wedding. His desire to surrender is real and your desire to lead is real, now recognize it formally. Exchange vows and have him symbolically surrender to you. You might symbolically take control from him. We suggest you design the ceremony and include other people if you want. If you have made relationships with others who are helping, you might include them. If you have agreed to have him to publicly acknowledge his FLR, then include your children so they know too. There is a tendency among men to think of this as a great moment for some really kinky things. You may enjoy that too as you wish.

Define the probationary period

     During this time you will be committed to some extra work. You will be taking the reigns as leader and he will be surrendering control to you. Call it a probationary period where he and female-led-relationships are on probation. Perhaps 90 days is long enough for you both to settle into your new roles. During that time you both will need extra diligence to uphold the reasons you are doing this in the first place. Keeping motivation high is both of your responsibilities but especially his because he was likely the one who asked for it in the first place. Habits take time to form and lists/schedules help develop habits. You may want him to read the agreement you both made periodically or even to memorize it like a constitution. After all, you cannot protect and serve something you don’t remember. Keep your expectation for his change and change to your relationship, reasonable. You both may have a lot to learn. He certainly does have a lot to learn to meet your expectations and standards.

Training and feedback

     Don’t overlook the importance of training during the period and giving feedback to him as well as from him. Make adjustments, fine tune, take a course correction. If he has asked for control, keep that part of what he wants high by his participating in his fantasy as a regular part of his day. You will both learn quickly that fantasies are just that, a fantasy. The more he participates in it the faster he will learn. Yet, there are parts of his fantasy that are good and will last.

Things you will need to accomplish

Before you start

  • As your first act of leadership get full disclosure from him
  • Create your relationship strategy together
  • Create your relationship agreement
  • Test the waters with trial runs
  • Make whatever adjustments you feel necessary

Day one

  • Get control of the finances if that is your charge
  • Reduce his control of finances – start making him dependent on you for money
  • Establish several simple rules he must follow no matter where he is
  • Start your habit of keeping him motivated

First week

  • Get all the documentation you need to get control of the food groups you have charge of
  • If you are controlling his free time have him keep a journal of what he does with it
  • Set the tone for your level of authority and leadership style
  • Finish writing your agenda – those things you want to do and change
  • Get a budget formalized
  • Hold your ceremony to mark the change
  • You should have control over what he does on his computer at home and in the office
  • He should have finished all the tests so you know how to motivate him
  • You should have control of his credit cards
  • If you have decided in level 3-4 you should have ordered him to do several things by now.

First month

  • Finish getting all the help you need
  • Get is training started and in full swing
  • He should have a very good memory of your agreement and prove it to you
  • You should have as much control of sex as you want of you are in charge of that
  • You should have a working budget formalized if you own finances
  • He should be completely dependent on you for money if you own finances.
  • He should be participating in the chores you have delegated and performing well
  • He should be getting comfortable in your leadership

Second month

  • You should have delegated all things to him he is going to do
  • He should be supporting your leadership in a noticeable way
  • You should be cranking down his kinky fantasy to more normalized and sustainable life habits
  • Your life together should be improving measurably

Third month

  • If you have agreed to public acknowledgement you should feel comfortable that others know about your agreement
  • He should have finished his initial training and performed well
  • You should have reviewed your relationship with him at least once and amended it
  • You should both be satisfied that you have made substantial progress toward your FLR
  • He should be completely dependent on you for any decisions he has surrendered

Day 91

  • His training will end
  • If in level 3-4 you should mark this day with a celebration
  • Crank his kink down to a normal sustainable level
  • Begin a normalized period and enjoy your new roles

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Mark

    If a man tried doing these things to a woman, all you control freaks would be howling. Being female led isn’t the problem, it’s your wanting absolute control of everything. The biggest red flag 🚩 is the all powerful woman be in charge of finances and the male has to ask or beg for money. Gee, isn’t that what women hated when men did it? Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I had a wife that tried stuff like this, she’s now my ex-wife. She said if I would just do what I was told we’d do fine. So, my female counselor as a last resort recommended to divorce her. So I listened to her.

    1. A man with a brain to think

      Mark such a great point given and when one thinks about, it moves the couple away from growing love and the individual when in each person. The growth of the husband is stopped since his focus in on things that can’t help him to be the person he was intended to be. Such a different approach is needed in this world of FLR.

    2. Jack

      From what I have read online it’s mostly always the husband who asks for a wife led marriage and the wife needs to be convinced. I think a FLR would work out best in a relationship or marriage where the couple has known each other for a few years. Jumping into a level 3 or level 4 FLR with someone you just met would not be wise in my opinion. There must be an established trust.

      My wife does not want to control everything I do and does not want to control all my spending. She has control of most of our savings and can spend as she chooses. Her control of the savings account helps her feel more secure in our marriage and it does make me more vulnerable. I am Ok with that.

  2. KiKo

    so where can i find a wife to serve?

  3. Jack

    So many things on this website are good. But there is a lot of BS. Take this statement for example:

    He should be completely dependent on you for money if you own finances.

    Why should be be completely dependent on the woman for money? That’s crazy and abusive. My FLR brought me and my wife closer together. If she told me I could only get $100 a week then I would tell her to take a hike. I run a business. My business has a cash flow. I have my own money. Like I said my controls most all our savings which is a lot. That’s enough. Why should the woman abuse the man when it comes to money?

    This website says it was written by 4 females and 1 male but much of this was taken from other websites that have been up 10 years or more. There is no telling if a man or woman wrote this stuff.

  4. Maid Stephanie

    I think the point of all this is that A. The man does typically want it. I know I do. B. Each couple has the power to negotiate what their individual FLR looks like. I run a business and it would be way cumbersome to have her making all the financial decisions and managing that money. So I keep that, but have a regular amount I contribute to the household budget she can depend on. I don’t live big with windfalls either. That goes to her to decide.
    C. About cranking down kink…in our situation, I feel it is up to me to make sure she is satisfied, and I can wait. She knows she is in charge of my orgasms, and gets hers as often as she likes. This works for us.
    I think there is a lot more good on this site that questionable material. Take for example the training. Humiliation is discouraged long term and only recommended for a short time in boot camp. I think the material presented here is designed to facilitate options in an FLR, and not to show disrespect for the male of the species.

    1. peter

      i fully agree with your comment.

Leave a Reply