In order to train you will need to establish the things you want him to learn. You can get some from your list of relationship ideals such as fidelity and intimacy or some from your life direction goals and his cry for help. If you have not yet read "A woman's guide to motivating a man in her Female Led Relationship" we recommend you do so. If you have no female led relationship agreement or relationship strategy you are not ready for training unless you just want to play.
Generally what you want your man to learn in your female led relationship and what he wants to learn are very different. You want him to learn to overcome his bad habits, work independently, find fulfillment in growing, gain confidence in your leadership and participate as your supportive follower. He want to learn how to serve your body, obey your commands, please you sexually, humble himself and learn what it is like to surrender. Because of the difference and size of the task at hand you must choose your targets. In management 101, when faced with a large number of tasks you must prioritize them, take the top ten and do as many as you can. Delegate where you can and just maintain a list of the ones that don't get done. There is, however, the added complication of keeping both of you motivated.
In level 1-2 relationships you are not going to be doing much of any training, but in level 3-4, it will be expected. He wants you to do it. At the end of this article there are 3 additional articles for more advice on reshaping self-image, non-punishment correction, and alternatives to physical punishment.
|I want to train him?|
|Our goal role for him is?|
|co-leader mate||servant mate||slave/subject||supportive mate|
When faced with lots to do and a sense of weakness, think of delegation. When you delegate, you still have to supervise the one you delegated to and you cannot let it go on its own. What you delegated should have been on your "top ten" list and ranked as important. You can use technology, make him create the curriculums while you just reorganize it, or you can seek help from a friend or expert (consultant).
Let's say you decide your top ten list looks like the list below and your priorities are clear. You are in a level 3 relationship and have your agreement in place. Your agreement gives you full control of the 5 food groups and you agreed to moderate kink and some forms of punishment. Think of this as a first list as a leader. The day is Saturday and Friday night you completed your relationship agreement together. In the task list below you can see I have delegated many things and I am thinking about finding another women to help me with the initial phase where I am weak or don't have time. The most important thing for today is to keep him motivated and least important (yet ultimately more important) is creating a map to our relationship closest to our measurable ideals. The lower 4 items are hardest to do so they will take time.
A positive learning experience provides rewards for goals met, praise for active participation and goal achievement. If you want your man to do the laundry to your standard, joyfully invite him to see how you do it. Explain what you are thinking as you go and have him repeat what you did giving him only positive reinforcement for what he is doing right and showing him what he needs to relearn. The goal is to learn how to do the laundry. Once he does give him affection and praise.
Learning goals and rewards begin with your selecting what he is to learn. He will ask for a reward of his choosing (you can limit his choices by using a list). You will teach him and watch his progress. When he learns the task, he has met his goal and is to be commended. When he shows prolonged retention of that learning he gets the reward.
Coaches demonstrate the task or have it demonstrated then guide from the sidelines watching the learner and continuing to participate in their learning. Coaching as a style should be authoritative. The reward is getting the coaching and getting to participate.
Consider getting help from another woman or man who is more dominant than you. You play the good leader and she/he plays the strict disciplinarian. You will need to coach at the same time but the tag team approach gives the learner plenty of focus time on his fantasy and reinforces the woman's leadership and superior role.
Boot camp is an intensive approach. It works best when there is more than one trainer or the trainer has a lot of time. The idea is to break down the learner, break them of their will, then instill new values in them. It is a form of programming used by the military and law enforcement. This might be the ultimate fantasy for him.
The trainer is always greater and over the trainee. She uses his fantasies and motivation to his advantage, which ultimately speeds up the learning curve.
Last Edit: 07-Dec-2011, edited by Multifaceted Moi
NEW! Training men with chastity
Combined Guides + 5 Food Groups
Couple's Training Guide
|Men were asked|
|I want strict training in our FLR?|
|If She Wants||No||Yes|
Men are asking for training by their women in female led relationships, 93% said they are willing and 60% want it for sure
|Women were asked|
|I would consider outside help with training?|
71% of women are open to getting outside help with training - perhaps from technology, a friend, or another couple?
Take the polls for yourself - contribute to our knowledge of how women feel about female led relationships [click here]
|Cross Reference - Additional Resources|