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Well, in the first place, you completely misundersand what it is that I seek. I’m a submissive, and not a masochist, therefore I have no interest in having a woman wear leather pants and whip me. Perhaps we are more accustomed in life to meeting people who are *both* submissive, and masochistic, but in fact, they are two different things.
When I use the term “Vanilla FLR” I really shouldn’t even have to use the term “Vanilla”. In fact, there is another term which accurately describes the kind of relationship I seek. That phrase is “Female Led Relationship”. If you’ve learned anything about it from reading this website, then you’d know that it does not have to involve kink at any level. It simply means that the woman is the leader in the relationship or the head of the household. That’s it. Unfortunately for people like me who are simply interested in pursuing a Female Led Relationship, it has become conflated with kink… but… it is not kink. There are billions of relationships in the world which follow this pattern, and some formally recognize that that’s what they are doing, while others don’t. It’s possible that they may even outnumber male-dominated or “equal” relationships, at least in many places.
I am not anti-kink… I’m just not that interested in it. I am simply interested in serving the person I love, and being led or guided by them on how best to serve.
There are also some activities which I also know are simply not for me, such as anything involving pain or humiliation of either party. It’s no different than how I know I would not be compatible with someone who holds right-wing political views, or someone who is a religious fundamentalist. It’s OK for someone else, but they simply aren’t compatible with me. I can be friends with people like this, but I am not going to be romantically involved with them.
Everyone gets to choose what they want, and don’t want. That’s called boundaries. Knowing our boundaries and respecting them – and asking others to do the same, is the basis for any healthy relationship. If those boundaries are not respected, and one party or the other does something without the full consent of the other party, then that’s called abuse.
What I’m saying is that within a relationship, even though kink is not really what I’m interested in, I’d still be willing to engage in whatever kink a woman wants, as long as it doesn’t involve serious pain or emotional / verbal humiliation. This could involve her dominating me, or me dominating her… but these are my limits, and they are never going to change.
In fact, I have met many women in real life, and one or two on here, who like the idea of the very same kind of relationship I’m talking about, or are already in one. I believe that this website can be a place for people who are interested in kink… that’s fine… but primarily it’s about FLR, and not femdom or kink.
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Thank you for your kind words, CdnGeisha. It sounds as though you understand me. Most of the responses I get on here, are possibly from porn bots, and maybe some prodommes, or just dommes who simply don’t believe me or take me at my word about what it is I want. I don’t even respond to most of the comments I get on here, because it seems like few people take the time to read what I wrote, or if they do, they refuse to believe that I’m serious. Thank you for reading it, and simply believing it.
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Hello! How did I find out this is what I want? To make a long story short, it has always seemed natural to me, and I always instinctually felt that I’d be happiest in a relationship where my partner, a woman, guides me.
Perhaps I am a romantic by nature, and I find a certain ecstatic joy in serving the person I love. I alsways gravitate towards this dynamic when I’m in love, sometimes unconsciously, but I’ve never had the opportunity to play it out in a formal way. When I was younger and my male friends would be “whipped” by their girlfriends, I was always jealous of them. I’ve just always known that this is what I want, and several years ago I discovered a couple of FLR websites such as this one, and it just really resonated with what I had always known about myself and my desires.
I’d be happy to chat with you if you like!
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