Are you one of those guys who’s obsessed with femdom porn and argues with his wife when she asks him to do the dishes? I used to be. I mean, she wasn’t dressed in latex or wielding a whip, she was just nagging me. And who likes a nag?
I had fallen in love with Sheila at first sight some twenty years before. She was a big curvy green-eyed redhead with a kick-ass attitude. She wasn’t a domme but random dudes would beg her to slap them or kick them in the balls. I didn’t want her to think of me like that so I never asked for anything of the kind. We were having some mind-blowing vanilla sex so it wasn’t a big thing. I hungered for domination but our attempts at b&d were stilted and weird so that wasn’t happening.
We got married, bought a house, had a couple kids. We liked being parents and grew closer but Sheila kept at me all the time to do more around the house. I was no match for her verbally so I learned not to point out that she did very little housework. Nor would I mention the hours I wasted watching porn.
One evening Sheila really laid into me for being lazy and selfish. I felt ambushed. I yelled back then stormed outside. Sitting on the stoop I thought “This can’t go on. I either have to leave or just completely surrender and do whatever she says.” I liked the sound of the second option better but didn’t think it would work.
I went back in and sat next to Sheila on the couch. After an awkward silence she asked “Do you feel like getting me a glass of water?” I stood right up and headed to the kitchen, noting her surprised expression as I passed.
Once in the kitchen I felt like a great weight had dropped from my shoulders. It was a spiritual awakening. It felt so good and so right just to obey her that I couldn’t wait for her next request. I looked at my wife of twenty years and she had transformed into a goddess, the answer to every wish I had ever made over a birthday cake or water fountain.
I felt overwhelmed, breathless. Was it just in my head? Was she feeling this? She had gone into the bedroom and lied down. I followed and knelt next to the bed. In a soft voice she said “I don’t like it when you get angry, I don’t like when you argue with me, and I don’t like when you are lazy.” I felt the urge to interrupt, to defend myself, but suppressed it and just listened.
She continued, “I do like when you wash the dishes, when you do the laundry, when you sweep and mop, when you mow the lawn, when you rub my feet, when you rub my back…” Her voice was hypnotic and she was well aware of the effect it was having on me. She placed her bare foot against my chest. “Do you have anything to say?”
“You’re always right,” I managed. She slid the sole of her foot up to my lips and I kissed greedily for a few seconds before she took it away. I wanted to fool around but she made it clear there would be no sex until she knew my brand new attitude was the real thing.
At first it was hard for me to take, being constantly bossed around. Sometimes I’d get irritated but she would say “Are you getting pouty?” Having to say “I’m not getting pouty!” made me feel so ridiculous I learned to stop getting pouty and smile as I submitted. She began calling me her manservant which I loved.
It turns out Sheila, who had no interest in bdsm or female domination, took to female-led marriage like a fish to water. She took over our finances and I was given a ten dollar weekly allowance. I learned to wait for permission to sit, otherwise she would inevitably give me an order the moment my butt hit the couch. When I sit , it’s usually to rub her feet, an activity I never tire of and have indeed become addicted to. Even clothes shopping , something I always hated and complained about, became an exciting experience. If I wasn’t on one knee helping her try on shoes, I was standing erect (sorry) outside a dressing room holding her purse, her coat, and the next seven items she planned to try on.
Sheila began expanding her power over me in unusual ways. She complained that while I seemed happy to serve, my body language indicated differently. I did my best to assume a more subservient posture in her presence. If I came to bed unwashed or unshaven she would muse that I must not be too interested in sex. I come to bed clean and shaven every night now.
As for sex, it happens when she wants. I never know when that will be so I no longer masturbate but save my energy for her when she needs me. It’s not easy because she knows all the little things that excite me and uses them against me mercilessly. Most tortuous is the nightly massage. I kneel beside the bed and rub lotions and balms wherever she instructs me to. Afterwards I get into bed, always aroused, usually physically unfulfilled but deeply satisfied.
When the pandemic hit, I lost my night job and Sheila began working from home. Now I no longer slept in the morning, I got up to make her breakfast. Now I was spending every waking moment at her beck and call, cooking, cleaning and waiting on her. The kids accept it because she is the one working. We speak lovingly to each other and I go about my chores cheerfully so they’re not exposed to any kind of kink dynamic. They’re not conscious of the psychological hold she has over me. She told me early on I could have some free time when my chores were done. That was almost two years ago and I’ve never been close to caught up. My one leisure activity is rubbing her feet while she watches TV and I am fine with that. In our FLR, I’ve reached the point where pleasing her is its own reward and displeasing her is its own punishment. It’s a wonderful place to be. I found happiness in marriage and in life by forgetting porn-fueled domination fantasies and simply being the most obedient pussy-whipped husband I could be to an amazing woman.
Obviously not all women are the same. But if you are a submissive man with a nagging, complaining wife, SURRENDER. Completely. It may be the best decision you ever make.
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I am a a submissive man with a nagging, complaining wife. I did surrender. She controls me and the bank accounts. I am the maid in our home and work full time. My wife is naturally dominant. D/s for her is not about kink. She wants a husband who obeys her.
Sounds like your not very happy in your situation.Certainly your lifestyle is not a FLR type for what little you have described.You do know FLR is not just about kink?Maybe it would help if you sit down and talk with each other.Try first to make sure you are both on the same page.Just a thought.
I’m glad that you got what you wished for. you’re right when you say that a submissive man should surrender completely to his nagging, complaining Wife. luckily my Wife is not a complaining or nagging person. but She’s very dominant in her behavior and always gets Her way. She has made it completely clear to me that She’s the Boss. and I accept her decision.
Thank you for sharing the beautifull tale of you and your Wife.
It is wonderfull to read how the two of you found a beautifull dynamic and happiness
In my case my has it has been a steady journey. Gradually I came to accept that I rather liked her making the decisions. I have to admit that most times when we disagree she usually is right. Looking at my wardrobe, gone are the old comfy sweaters I loafed about in and now she has me in trim slim clothes that she has chosen for her man . I love it. I get all the sex I want and it is on her terms, which actually makes it all the more enjoyable.
I found this article to be very familiar. My wife and I are in a similar situation, with a developing FLR after 20 or so years of marriage as well. My wife is like Shelia in many ways. She is very strong minded and prone to scolding and ridiculing me when I don’t due what she wants. I was getting angry when we disagreed on tasks and duties around our home.
I have always had a kink for femdom porn and recently got interested in FLR and submission. I have begun to accept my wife’s point of view and tell myself to not argue with her. I am much happier with this arrangement than always trying to have my own way. Let’s face it, my way wasn’t any better than hers, and now I don’t get angry!
I am falling into a submissive state of mind – and it is awesome! Everytime I follow her directions or agree to her instructions I get a little psychological charge. Saying out loud that I understand and will follow her decisions is so much better than arguing. Instead of being stressed I get a charge of satisfaction every time I submit to her.
I think about my acceptance of her dominion all the time, I am so much happier now that I have submitted to her dominate position in our relationship. We will see where it goes from here. Do I need to formalize things? Perhaps I should just continue to let our relationship evolve on its current path? I am so happy to be submissive in our relationship.
I would like my marriage, or what remains of it, to be in a FLR, L3-L4 relationship, since many of the problems and situations that ended our marriage were due to omissions and neglect of me towards her, my mismanagement of money that led us to incur many debts (I had to give my wife that administration and, in just two years, she paid everything we owed) among other things and situations that I have hidden from her, both in our relationship and of personal things; for example, that since I was a child I liked to dress as a girl and I knew that if my parents had found out they would have given me the spanking of my life, one day I decided to punish myself and I liked the feeling, so I have continued doing it until now.
So, I would really like to be in extreme female leadership, since I really like spanking and punishment dressed as a girl, so I would love for her to give me my maintenance spanking every day, plus the punishments that correspond to me of my mistakes, of things that I forgot to do, of not finishing my tasks or not obeying her.
She is a woman who likes to lead, take the initiative, that she has a strong character and she always corrects everyone and she tells us what she thinks and what we were wrong about. She has everything it takes for her to be in a FLR relationship, but there’s one big problem…
…she is a VERY traditional woman and, she would freak out and never ever speak to me again, plus she would most likely be able to tell all of our family and friends.
Well you know I had the same trepidations about revealing my inner secrets. It’s been 10 years since I first let her know how I felt about dressing in feminine lingerie. Timing is important but going slowly is even more important. Let her know you have these desires, but allow her to control if and when you are allowed to express them.
Even after all this time, some experimenting and a few missteps, we have come to the point she accepts that she is in charge. The final day in or marriage. She accepts my crossdressing desire, but doesn’t really like it. We tease about it sometimes. About once a month or so I will let her know that Stephanie wants to come and clean. She will acknowledge that I’m going to dress up, but she will leave for the day to enjoy herself elsewhere, knowing she will come home to a sparkling clean house.
I’ll meet her on return still dressed as a maid. Show her all I did. She will critique and thank me. I’ll curtesy to her and then change back to male mode. Often fool Lowes by dinner out together.
That should read the final say in our marriage, not day. Stupid auto correct changed it.