Female led relationships are based in the principle of Dominant and Submissive collaborations. A dominant of any sort must first recognize that the submissive must first yield and give their free will to them. The submissive must have a free will understanding; and the feeling of knowing, that they can trust the dominant to lead them in all categories or agreed upon categories, in the life of the submissive. This is indeed a process. The level of trust and the measure of core commitment from submissive and/or the Dominant; is imperative to the growth of the FLR. It is believed many female led relationships fail due to these quagmires being major contributors to other stresses in the relationship.
FLRs are unique in the sense of a Woman being shown proper reverence for she being the first greatest wonder of the world. Women are wired to bear most all stress infractions such as giving birth, managing family, governing her household including finances, providing nurturing care, career, and having foresight for what is in the best interest of her submissive mate and family…just to name a few life areas. All Dominant women are not created equal and have different desires in her mate. It doesn’t mean that she will choose a mate that is submissive in every aspect of his life. As well, it should not be assumed that all submissive men desiring and choosing to partake in a FLR are submissive men in every facet of their lives. It does mean that these men have chosen to yield and bow to a female authority viewed by them, as having a greater authority than their own.
Over my vast years in the D/s life style, I witness many behaviors and found that the existence of these behaviors and core make-up, is quantifiable. The behaviors and core makeup, are as follows:
- Alpha
- Sub
- Slave
- Alpha-sub
- Alpha-slave
- Sub-Alpha
- Sub-slave
It is important for the submissive to discover what type of man he is during the onset of his sexuality journey. It is wise for the submissive to discover if he is a sapiosexual, an emotional sexual, or a physical sexual. These identified behaviors of self-expressions, are relevant to the direct correlation, as to the caliber of Dominant woman the submissive requires for a balanced life of servitude. Duration and longevity of the FLR is affected by these behaviors. The created balance of the FLR gives the submissive an anchored credence for accepting the Dominant’s authority as his practical norm in his everyday existence. However, it must also be noted that it does take trial and error for some to self-discover on both sides of the isle.
Therefore, recognizing my study of the above to be factual and true regarding the 7 categories of the male behaviors and core make-up; we should also recognize that the categories above, identify women as well. This does not usurp the fact of a slave and sub-slave woman; is quite capable of dominating, ruling and governing. Her station may not be as effective as an Alpha woman; still yet, she can infuse enough of her energy with her authority, to provide her sub/sub-slave/slave mate, much of what he is in need of; while having a satisfying portion of her needs met to the measure of being able to sustain and maintain such a FLR dynamic.
There is so much more to this article that won’t be written in this piece. The 7 categories alone are topics to be acknowledged and explored in a more in-depth manner. The purpose for this article was for me, to awaken the basic nature of Dominants and submissives; for the opportunity of discussions and to bring a mindful awareness of knowing and/or learning, about our respective selves, as an individual being/person, first. As the journey of self discovery continues, we each respectively take notice to who we are in the lifestyle of FLR and D/s. Many of us will be shocked to learn of incongruencies that were never previously realized.
I will, over the next few weeks, write and present articles that will identify each of the 7 categories. I am always willing and wanting to engage in thoughts, questions, and discussions on topics presented by way of me, and subjects represented by others.
Thank you for reading.
In Truth
~~~~~~~A Balanced Vibe
Thank you for explaining, it helped me realize i must be an Alpha-sub… Excellent article.
I appreciate you sharing your compliment regarding the article. To know yourself to be an Alpha-sub, is great insight to what you need and desire in a relationship. Your foundation of knowing which category you fall within, allows you to be more mindful of what you will and won’t accept in your D/s relationship. Alpha-subs are the most perplexing of the categories. Alpha-subs choose their partners or have to be mentally strong-armed by the dominant, for them to yield. Alpha-subs are indeed interesting.
Its good to learn of you knowing yourself somewhat .
Very interesting categories. Hopefully in future you will discuss the differences between Alpha-Sub and Sub-Alpha. I like to think of myself as Sub-Alpha, which I take to mean I’m primarily Sub but with an undertone of Alpha. But a Dominant Woman I respect greatly once categorized me as Alpha, which I was disappointed to hear. I am most definitely Sapiosexual and being in conversation with a very intelligent woman, whether or not she is Dominant, is something I find exciting in both a sexual and nonsexual way. A clinical psychologist once said I have a very large ego which, again, I acknowledged but was disappointed to hear. I continue to think that if a compatible Dominant Woman were to take an interest in me she would be able to diminish my ego in a beneficial way.
Hello Seniorboy,
yes in the near future I will discuss the attributes and differences for the categories identified in the article. Some differences are subtle and some are vast in contrast. Lol
I wanted to touch bases on you feeling poorly or negatively about you being identified as alpha by one entity, and by another, you were labeled as one with a large ego. As a sub these are great attributes to have. It is also about your perspective of these two labels. With the proper dominant, those labels allow you to serve in a greater capacity because you are determined to give your best. You seek that special approval from the dominant whose attention you wish to captive, acquire, maintain, or/and hold. Again its all about perspective.
Excellent article looking so forward to your breakdown to 7 categories and future discussions.I was brought up in a FLR household(however never knew name back then)I just figured my mother was the dominant figure in our hosehold.I am an only child and growing -up she was in charge of finances,discipline both mine/fathers, household chores,& free time(as I grew older of course take into consideration)Yes as I grew older age 11& on yes I saw difference of my friends parents ,however I just looked as if it was the way I was being brought up.I am at present single had been in a FLR relationship 4 yrs.+ However mate was not at all consistent and would go from 3-4 and even at times down to a 2.I need 5 food groups reg. basis etc.I myself believe am in somewhere either a 6-7 at this point in life.(FYI -I do see a psychiatrist regarding an accident that forced me not able to work ever again /license,way of life etcYet also have discussed my childhood and FLR lifestyle living now.)
Cannot wait for next article(s)
Hi Ralph,
I appreciate your kind words regarding my article; and much acceptance of you sharing intimate surface details about your family dynamics, when you were growing up. It is fascinating each time I cross paths with one who grew up in a FLR, but were none-the-wiser of the in depth meaning of what they were indoctrinated into. Lol It truly is wonderful to engage with one such as yourself. There is so much to unpack from your comments. However, at this time, I will dive only into your relationship of 4 plus years just a bit. In short, all Dominants are not for every sub or slave. All subs or slaves are not for every Dominant. If core beliefs are not matched or aligned; then there are incongruencies that will eventually present themselves. Usually they surface in the subs/slaves first. You can’t sink a whole in 1and then call it a slam dunk, or a home run. Its important for Dominants to learn who they are, just as a sub/ slave is to discover themselves, their hard limits, their breaking points and etc. Serving is a privilege and those duties and responsibilities are not to be taken lightly. Being served is an honor to which reverence is bestowed upon a Dominant that is found worthy: and the Dominant is to be mindful of the intensity of the power they hold and wheel. Your Dominant was not the right Dominant for your needs to be fulfilled while you fulfill her needs and whims. Learn yourself, recognize what type of sub or slave you are. Learning your core self will become a guide and will assist you with discovering the attributes of the proper Dominant for you.
I am glad to hear back from you so quickly ,much apprieciated.I did not want to go in much depth of my upbringing (really did not know you would be much interested or not,and if place to go truly indepth one on one)Yet I did want to give a brief history to you. However if your interested to discuss more am sure we can figure out .Yes I realize after period of time was with the wrong Dominant for sure.The longer time went on I thought things may change for the best , however only got worse(stayed the same).As you also write learning more of my core self will assist me in finding/discovering the attributes of a Dominant for me.
Good evening Ralph. I attempt to respond within 72 hours of me receiving notifications from this platform. It is also perfectly alright, if you wish to discuss particular topics one on one. Email me and we can agree on specific rules of engagement. It is of importance to me that you are comfortable when sharing intimate details about your life and yourself. I look forward to connecting with you.
This is a thoughtful, well-written article. I’m new to FLR, and I wonder if I would be the best candidate for it. Certainly when it comes to my work, I can be quite assertive, and I tend to be a workaholic. But away from work, my preference is to be in a more subordinate role. Thanks again for your article.
Hello Paul,
I appreciate your kind thoughts regarding this article. I am a little behind on the follow up to this article. My professional life has become more involved and active with my private practice as a Certified Behavioral Modification Specialist, on top of website construction woes, documentation revisements and etc.
Aside from the above and to address your concern of an FLR being right for you…it is for you if you can envision an alpha woman bringing balance in your life, as she shows you acceptance of your Alpha-sub self. There are many right ways to be in an FLR. All FLRs are not created equally. You first must acknowledge, understand, and accept all aspects of your needs and desires as a man, before you seek a dominant woman to share yourself and your servitude with. There must be a common vanilla ground in everyday life; in order for any D/s or FLR to have a foundation for a solid structured relationship to be built upon. Without mutual respect for the respective positions, clear continuous communication[ verbal and nonverbal], and a parallel vision for what each bring to the table along with what each is in need of having fulfilled; the developing relationship is almost certainly doomed to fail.
All relationships are based on ebb and flow. Determining how much of each, by which of you, is where the magic lives.
Very interesting and serious article. I will think through my own personality as sub along the lines and categories outlined here. Hopefully also helping me to find the right Domme to take charge of me.
I am the one to adapt in an FLR, and this will help me understand myself.
Thanks Miss Diosa.
Subjohan, you are welcome. Remember to recognize who you are as a man as you define yourself and your adaptability in an FLR. The point is for there to be an ebb and flow in the relationship. Both should find happiness in their position and roles in the FLR.
Dipsa: (not sure how you prefer to be addressed)_
Your writngs and opinions are exactly wha I believe to be true..ad that type of knowledge cannot be posessed by someone of lesser years…there is NO substitute for experience..most men can pick themselves out ..of the 7 ..I suspect..have you written more detailed description of each?
Respectfully in awe
Richard
Hello Richard,
I prefer to be addressed with respect and kindness.lol Diosa, Lady Marie, ma’am…whichever flows more naturally for you, until otherwise identified by me.😉 I appreciate greatly, you taking the time to read. I have other writings elsewhere that I have yet to bring here. I have been delayed in writing here, as there doesn’t seem to be much of a desire or requirement of many here to want to learn or read more about self realization, self actualization, self awareness, and self improvement pertaining to one understanding his or her station in life,be it dominant or submissive. Lol Not to mention I’ve been inundated with my private practice, my social media set ups, and so many other things. Lol I will write more here, soon. Ask anything you wish to know, I am open to a dialogue and an exchange of thoughts and beliefs systems in the lifestyle of FLR, BDSM, Dns, and etc.
Hello Ma’am. Really enjoyed your article. Never heard of sapiosexual (had to look it up). That’s actually a really important takeaway for me. I’m looking forward to learning more about the seven behaviors and core makeup. Please consider continuing this eye-opening series when you have the time. Thank you so much.
Dear Madame Diosa !
Have I been missing your articles on the seven behavior groups? I don’t seem to find anything more than this first article?
Please excuse me if I am wrong, I am just very interested in the topic and the insight You have in this.
Sincerley Your SubJan
I would think an experiened Female ‘leader’ would set exactly what she requires of the choices listed..or re -program the existent ‘type’ of male under her guidance..to her personal preference? The submissive paetner should crave to become who/what is preferred?