Dan and I started a six week experiment with chastity in small steps. At first I thought it was strange and it put me off some, then it got worse than that with a strange repulsion at the images (they are just not nice), but in time, as I thought it through, I saw an opportunity to make our lives better. The small steps began when Dan staged a scene for me to see the thing online and we began discussing chastity and denial. Dan has always been edgy and seems to want more and more so I was not at all surprised to see the way he exposed it to me. I know from experience we don’t have very open communication, especially about things like this and he almost always introduced things he was nervous about in strange ways.
There on the his computer screen was a photo of a man’s penis in what looked like a plastic container shaped like a penis with a lock on it. I thought it might be some kind of crude art for a moment. I asked Dan “what are you getting at?” when he asked me “what I thought of it?” I could not think of anything less attractive than a photo of a man’s penis in plastic. Since this was his way of introducing things he could not talk about openly I got it and I began asking him questions about what he was after? Without any inhibition I drilled down to what fantasy he had. All the things he said to me, his reasons, I discounted from past experience because the truth with was, “it turned him on.”
He bought the thing and showed it to me when it arrived, so we played with it. “Not sexy” I thought, “off the deep end,” but what the hell, let’s try it, he will push until we do anyway. The obvious problem was that it limited sex and it seemed counter productive to his sex drive. It was hard to get off and on, but watching the lock click was what got me thinking. We tried one day experiments, several days experiments over a weekend, then I did a bit more reading about the subject. Most of what I saw and read was a GREAT BIG TURN OFF – yuck!!!!. There was two things that I did like: 1. hearing the lock click and 2. the interaction we needed because he was dependent on me to take the thing off, I had the key.
Zoom forward to our week long experiment. We stared on a Friday and by Sunday as usual he was whining, but I would not let him out. We had developed a rule where he could not to touch himself at all without the thing locked on and I was determined to put him to the test. Every night and on some mornings I would cuff his hands behind his back then remove the device and wash him with a warm wash cloth. On occasion I admit to teasing him which gave me some pleasure. It was that interaction I liked the best, it was nicer in some ways than sex because he needed me and was vulnerable; and I love the click of the lock. That week went very fast for me and could not have been over fast enough for him but he did it, kept his word, which I was proud of. The only issue was how to have a variety of sex because he was locked up.
We experimented with some different cages, some hurt him, one even cut into his skin a little while he slept. He bought another one like the first one that worked best so we had two and some different cuffs that went to a collar around his neck which made him look more like a slave which was the fantasy anyway. The BIG disappointment for me was that sex was soooo limited so I got creative, trying some accessories and reading about how to get what he wanted and what I wanted at the same time.
I read how to keep him from climax during intercourse and decided to try it, and it worked but it is less than spontaneous so there were still limits. The advice I took to practice was to limit foreplay for him, use several thick condoms; and put numbing cream on the underside of his thing (I think I read that on this site). It worked somewhat and I enjoyed the variety. I kept his hands cuffed to his neck so he could use them on me but could not touch himself. I got a kick out of that part, the cool chains on my skin and him struggling to please me with no hope for himself.
Partly because of his keeping his word for a week and because of my new found ways of enjoyment, even with him in the thing, I asked him for a longer experiment, 6 weeks I thought. We framed it in our conversation as a step closer to FLR, having to do with my trust for him and his ability to deliver on a consistent basis; I figured if he could not make it 6 weeks what chance does he have at a lifestyle. I wanted to break away from his fantasy and fetish to the reality of life as a couple because most of the time he was just thinking of himself even while he invented reasons I might be interested.
Okay, the six weeks started with that lovely click and it forced us to interact in that nice way that only couples can do every day. We had gotten good at it too. He had two devices so he could wear one and clean the other. I spent more time teasing him too and let him out for release every other week. I got to wear my lingerie more often which I enjoyed as a tease. We even added a little prostate massage (with mixed results and I can’t say I liked it much). We made it through 6 weeks in this way with a little more variety of sex.
I think his goal was the fantasy of feeling like a slave and mine was more intimacy and less of him wanting sex instead of closeness.
- each day we would change his device and he cleaned the spare. he was in cuffs for the exchange so he would not cheat
- he added a lotion lubricant which stopped the abrasion he got and I let him out while he slept many nights if he agreed to wear restraints
- I used the tricks I learned about stopping his climax during regular sex so I got more variety, yeah!
- when he did get a climax he was blind folded and in cuffs (part of his fantasy)
- I added more things for him to do like rubbing my feet, massage, and doing simple things for me
- I added some timeout when he was hovering wanting me for find him things to do or whining, I had him go into another room so I could relax
- I added experimenting with controlling his free time to moderate his hovering and whining by having him do things to keep himself busy like exercise and reading
The effect of the 6 weeks was he was more affectionate, attentive, and wanted to talk more, and I think because he was not on a mission to come and go, we spent much more time on me, I liked that. We had more sex than usual. I felt a measure of control but also more responsible for him (mixed feelings about that). He got to play out his fantasy of a slave which I catered to some but not much.
The downside was he climaxed very fast (maybe that is not a downside the way we were doing it) and was needy which was not like him. It was a chore sometimes to get the thing on and off especially when I was late or tired . It changed sex but I got more overall and the closeness we shared was better. It was more work for me for sure.
He kept his word for the most part aside from being needy and whining, it went well. It did improve my sex life but not ours. I still don`t like the look of Dan in plastic, it is just not sexy. I do like the lock and the whole idea of locking it up. The thought of him beating off is just not sexy either so this was a better option. I am not sure I’d do it as a lifestyle because it is more work for me, but the tradeoff’s are more sex and a more attentive and affectionate guy.
Because Dan is Dan we will likely experiment more.
— By Dana and Dan relative newbies to FLR
This Post Has 10 Comments
I find the idea of chastity super interesting and I really want to try it
I find if I don’t ejaculate for ages, then the next time is pretty quick to get off. That’s definitely true.
I don’t want the focus to be on my cock and I my goddess needs to be happy foremost. Other sexual non-penetrative play would have to do
I find the prospect of being locked in a chastity cage to be very intimidating. However, I’ve come to realize that if I’m going to become involved in an flr, then there is a very good possibility that it could involve male chastity and accept that.
After chatting with several women that support the idea of it, I’ve learned that it could actually be beneficial to a lot of men. It could certainly cure them of a porn addiction, and teach them self control, since many men are slaves to their own sexuality. It could help them to build trust with a woman and help him to focus more on his relationship.
It would certainly go a long way in proving his willingness to submit to a woman by surrendering control of his sexuality.
I agree it can challenging being locked up 24/7, but as a man, I have to accept that long-term chastity is a part of an FLR 3-4 lifestyle. It is easy to implement and it is an essential part of establishing Her dominance.
The concept of a Woman locking up Her man in a Chastity device is very intriguing and interesting. Initially the man might not like the idea of having his Wife locking his cock up, but after some time he gets used to it. I have experienced it as It has happened with me. We used to have a pretty boring vanilla type sex life and I wanted some change. one day my Wife caught me looking up some Femdom and Chastity sites and masturbating. She didn’t say a word She didn’t even ask for an explanation. but after a few days She told me She had a present for me as my birthday was approaching. She removed the Chastity device from the box and ordered me to strip. I froze in fear saying that I didn’t want to wear it. but She would have nothing of it. She grabbed my balls locked my cock in the cage, cheekily placing the key into her gold anklet. I hated the device initially as it was uncomfortable and hurting. but now I have got used to it. I can serve my Wife better now.
Chastity is a great tool for Men to learn submissiveness and females to enhance their dominant status.
It greatly helps all those in FLR
The wonderful thing about chastity is what is wonderful about playing backgammon – that you can enjoy it at a casual level or get very into the nuances and symbolism. I can definitely attest to having spent time in chastity with two partners and as much as I may not have had time “earning” my way there and felt wounded a bit by being confronted with the evidence for the decision, in both instances, it was really because they understand the benefit to my growth though I was not ready to understand and wouldn’t have so completely if it hadn’t been employed so artfully by them. I am grateful and think of it as either fun or a positive step in your personal growth and that of your relationship.
The author said “I would cuff his hands behind his back then remove the device and wash him with a warm wash cloth.”
You know anyone can have an orgasm while wearing a chastity device using a vibrator.
Im owned by a wonderful mistress Carolyn she is learning how the flr works and she is very enthusiastic creative but most all she is loving, understanding and decisive. I love her
We have used male chastity for many years. The most important aspect is to find a well fitting cage that can be worn long term. We use a metal cage that is open and easy to keep the penis and scrotum clean.