[MlleSadie]

100% agreed with @zero’s advice. Plus, I think we must be aware that it is just as akward to be a dominant woman as a submissive man in our society. So, I understand that we can be bitter with respect to the societal context we are living in… But I think this must not lead us to be bitter about individuals (or specific groups of individuals), but instead lead us to undertake productive actions to change all of this, in a positive way! 🙂

[MlleSadie]

Agreed. Excellent work so far and very interesting goals for what will follow.

[MlleSadie]

@Alex, you asked for my opinion on this study … I think the general conclusion make sense, even if it is “sad” to realize that the perceived stability/intimacy of a relationship varies depending on gender … and because of some other social inequality markers. It seems to be a big challenge for a woman and a man, involved in a relationship, to reach a common understanding of their own “objective” reality.

Otherwise, I am delighted that being in charge might help women to feel more stable. At the same time, I am puzzled by this. Is compensating for insecurities a good (healthy/ethical) motive to look for an FLR? In the end, I wonder how generalizable these results are to couples who willingly look for FLR (we must remember that this study is not specifically about FLR). As like you, my experience is that what brings stability to FLR is first and foremost trust, built on lots of communication, along with a deep emotional (and sexual) engagement.

PS : Ohh! 🤭

[MlleSadie]

@Johan: Agreed. Me neither, I don’t think you can really speak for the two women who used you in this way … nor for any woman in general! 😉

[MlleSadie]

Hi Johan,

Thank you for your reply. Of course you are welcome to comment! 🙂

If I understand correctly, you add nuances to the research findings; In your personal experience, it’s not only the woman who feels better stability and deeper intimacy when the power imbalance is in her favor, but also the man (at least into the context of an FLR)? This makes sense. For a submissive man, FLR offers the opportunity to open up with his partner and to feel fully understood and accepted (even loved?) … which is certainly conducive to a more intimate and stable relationship.

Having said that, I’m more interested by the female perspective here. May I ask you if, during your past FLR experiences, you felt that your female partners shared these feelings as well? Do you know if the search for better stability or more intimacy was one of their motivations to continue such a relationship?

Thanks again for sharing!

Mademoiselle Sadie

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